024: Raising Godly Decision-Makers with Rachel Mitchell
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Show Notes
In this episode of the Anchored Decisions Show, Lauren Black welcomes guest Rachel Mitchell, a mother of two teenage boys, to discuss how to help children become good decision-makers. They talk about involving kids in the decision-making process, teaching kids about fasting, and Rachel’s decisions between homeschool and public school. Rachel shares her strategies for teaching kids to seek God's guidance in their decisions, practical parenting tips, and the importance of having intentional, scripture-based conversations with children. Don't miss out on Rachel’s insightful advice on raising children who make godly decisions.
Key points:
Rachel’s Parenting Journey: Rachel didn’t initially plan to be a stay-at-home or homeschooling mom but felt called to make that transition with God's guidance.
Transition Back to Public School: The decision to return to public school was led by God, sports opportunities, and a need for the children to use their gifts and abilities.
Role of Fasting in Decision-Making: Rachel and her family practice fasting as a spiritual discipline, using it to seek God's guidance during major decisions like returning to public school.
Fasting Involvement with Kids: Rachel introduced fasting to her children by encouraging them to give up certain foods like sugar as a way to connect with God and pray over decisions.
Discipleship Focus: Rachel emphasizes the importance of discipling her children, guiding them to follow Jesus in everyday life, and incorporating spiritual disciplines.
Teaching children decision-making: It’s crucial to teach your kids decision-making skills and how to seek God’s will, especially when they’re unsure if they’re hearing from God, the devil, or themselves.
Role of Scripture: Scripture plays a foundational role in Rachel’s family decisions, particularly verses like Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 119:36.
Spiritual Habits: The family consistently instills spiritual habits, such as daily Bible reading, discussing scripture, and making healthy lifestyle choices.
Keeping Open Conversations with Your Kids: Conversations about decision-making, consequences, and seeking God’s will happen regularly in everyday situations, including while driving to school and during family walks.
Links Mentioned:
Anchored Decisions Episode 13: Entrice Rowe -- Helping Your Kids Make Good Decisions
Rachel's podcast episode on sending her kids back to public school – Living on Mission Episode 74
Rachel’s podcast episode on fasting – Living on Mission Episode 91
Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path
Psalm 119:36: Bend my will to yours, Lord, and not toward selfish gain
Rachel’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/racheljmitchell
Rachel’s Podcast - Living on Mission
About Rachel:
Rachel is a follower of Christ for 19 years! Wife to Matt for 20 years and mom to Henry (15) and Milo (13). She runs a successful faith and fitness business in which she leads women to become disciples of Christ in their everyday life and invite Him into the fight for their bodies. Everyday is an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and take up our cross and follow Him!
Connect with me on social media:
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www.anchoreddecisions.com
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Transcript
Lauren
One of the best things that you can do for your kids to set them up for a future of success is to help them become a good decision maker. Not only set them up with tools that help them learn how to make decisions, but also guide them in choosing the right things. That's why I'm super excited for you to tune in to today's episode where I talk with Rachel Mitchell.
Rachel has two teenage boys. I have two little boys. And so I just loved hearing from Rachel, the things that she does to include her boys in decision making processes and helping them learn about fasting and helping them be a part of family decisions. So tune in today as you glean so much from Rachel in this conversation.
Intro: Welcome to the Anchored Decision Show. I'm your host, Lauren Black, the world's biggest overthinker turned decision coach, all by the grace of God. Now I'm on a mission to help you make easier decisions, discover God's will, and live with purpose. Tune in weekly to hear real life decision stories, expert insights, and faith based strategies to help you navigate your decisions with confidence. So ditch your pros and cons list and learn to make better decisions without asking your mom or losing another night of sleep. Let's go.
Hey everyone. I am so, so, so excited about today's guest. I have Rachel Mitchell coming on today to share about helping your kids to make godly decisions and some things about parenting and leading your kids down the right path, making decisions with them. And how I found Rachel was I was listening to her podcast And everything she shared was just so filled with wisdom.
And so Rachel has two teenage boys and my boys are little still. And I just felt like, you know what? She is just #momgoals for when my kids are her boys age.
So welcome.
Rachel
Oh, thank you. I feel so honored to be here and so humbled. It is so cool. I love how God lets us do life together. Like, you know, I think of women who have gone before me that I look up to that I've asked questions of, and it's just really exciting to be at this stage of life to be able to encourage other mamas.
So thank you.
Lauren
Yes, yes, you're welcome. So I actually, a while back, I had other guests talking on helping your kids make decisions. And so it's a topic that I've done before, but there is so much wisdom in just hearing other perspectives. And I knew I had to have you on the show.
I'll read off your bio real quick so people can get to know you a little better and then we'll dive in.
So, Rachel is a follower of Christ for 19 years. She's wife to Matt for 20 years and mom to Henry and Milo who are 15 and 13. She runs a successful faith and fitness business in which she leads women to become disciples of Christ in their everyday life and invite him into the fight for their bodies. Every day is an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and take up our cross and follow him All right. So yeah, I, as I shared, I was listening to Rachel's podcast and it was actually her episode on choosing to send her boys back to public school after homeschooling.
And my recent episode on choosing public school for my kids came out. So I just felt like it was right aligned with what I'd been sharing. And you know, what's interesting was her boys wanted to start homeschooling sooner when they did start and Rachel, you said you weren't ready. So help me to understand more of that process, even when they were little, that you guys were working through those decisions together to even start homeschooling.
Rachel
Absolutely. And so, hey, let me, first of all say, I never, like I never wanted to be like a stay at home mom or definitely not a homeschooling mom. Like that was not on my plan for my life. I love my children and obviously like when I had children and as they were growing up, I did desire more time with them. I think God planted that. I think he does plant that desire in our hearts. Obviously he create, creates us. As women to not only birth children, but to nurture them. Like that, that comes very naturally to many of us.
And so, I've always loved to work, like I've always love to work. I've always enjoyed working. I've always enjoyed leaving my home to go and provide, before my family, just for myself and then for our family. But God was definitely, definitely working in my heart. And honestly, too, this is the really cool thing, is that he was working in my husband's heart, too, independently. Like we weren't having a lot of discussions about: should I be home more? Should we homeschool our children? It was kind of like God was planting those seeds of desire in both of our hearts independently, which is always very cool because you kind of know beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is him.
And so Henry and Milo were in public school. I was working full time. God made a way for me to be home more through my health and business business. So, I came home to be a full time mom and, and just to be around the house more. Again, I was doing work that I loved. I was providing, but I got to be home more. I got to take them to school, pick them up, go to their school parties, birthday parties, things like that.
And I loved it, but it was almost like, God said, that's not enough. Like, that's not my plan for your family right now. And so he just really unsettled me a lot and again nothing happened in public school that made us say, "Oh, we're taking our kids out". It was not anything like that It was simply a desire in my heart, in my husband's heart that I could not like shake.
And Henry and Milo, they're, they're such cool kids. They always have been, they still are, but they, they enjoyed public school, but they really, we've always been a very close family. And so when we started to actually have the conversation in our home about potentially homeschooling, they were like, yeah, let's do it. Like, yeah, you know, like all in.
And so it took, honestly, though, if I'm being completely transparent, it took about two years before I was to the point where, I had a lot of fears. I'm not even gonna lie. Like, what if I can't educate them? What if they don't learn anything? What if they miss out? You know, all these things.
But God just kept saying, do it, do it, do it. And so we jumped in with two feet. We'd actually plan to homeschool the year after starting in 2020, the fall of 2020. But we all know we all homeschooled in the spring of 2020 because Covid happened. And so it just kind of it honestly again, it was kind of like God's little wink. " Okay, you can do it, Rachel. You know, you can do it. Here, I'm gonna give them to you earlier than you expected, you know, it's all going to be fine."
And so we did, we jumped in and we homeschooled for three years with the full knowledge that we would probably go back at some point because you can't play sports in Mississippi and homeschool, public school sports. So we, we knew that was a possibility, but it was very hard. It was very hard.
Lauren
Right. Yeah. So when it came time to decide to go to send your kids back to public school, since you had homeschooled for a while, who initiated that decision? Was it your boys or was it you or your husband?
Rachel
It was really a matter of age. Henry, we knew, okay, so let me do my math. Let me back up. So, Henry finished his 8th grade year. He's in the 9th grade now. We wanted to go to a school district, a school that was out of our district.
And so, because of that, we knew that, if Henry was going to go back and play all four years of high school, we had to decide in the 7th or 8th grade. And so it actually happened very quickly. Again, we, we trusted God with this. I was not ready. I was not ready to send them back to public school. So it was definitely not me, but it was a matter of God has given these two boys, very, very, distinct gifts and abilities to play sports. And we have instilled in them, since a very young age, you know, this is an opportunity to minister, to glorify God, to lead others. And so we knew that sports was a very big part of their life and if we didn't go back, then they wouldn't have that opportunity to do those things.
And so we knew we wanted the boys to both be able to play four years of sports in high school. And that would mean going back in enough time to let them sit out. So, to be quite honest, it happened very quickly when we realized they were going to have to sit out a year. And, um, so they went back a year before I even planned for them to. And, it was very hard on my mama heart. It was hard for them. It was a big transition from, you know, homeschooling to public school. And I think we were all a little bit scared, but we all also knew that this was the plan. God was making a way. And so again, just like jumping into homeschool, jumping back into public school was very much a, it was, it was a leap of faith, like quite honestly, it was just a leap of faith.
Lauren
And did you send them both back at the same time then?
Rachel
Yes, we did because, they're very close. They're close in age and they're close in relationship. And, for lots of reasons, like Milo would not have wanted to just sit at home with me and homeschool, you know, like they were, they were eager to go back and they were excited to go back. They have a lot of friends in the school district that they went to, and so they were both excited, nervous, excited, but they did both want to go back.
Lauren
Yeah. All right. So now in your podcast, you had mentioned fasting. Now tell me how you've approached teaching your kids about fasting. Have they participated or do they just know when you have fasted over these decisions?
Rachel
I love this question. I love talking about this, like, because I'm, I'm so passionate about discipleship of our children and I talk a lot about on my social media feed, my podcast about health and fitness. That's a huge part of my ministry, but, it just discipleship and growing in our faith and teaching our children is huge for me and like, It's just so much fun. It's fun to talk about.
So, personally, I did not really discover, not discover, let's say I didn't implement the spiritual discipline of fasting until probably four or five years ago. Like I was introduced to fasting, It's odd to say, but it's never been really, really taught where I grow up. Like I've grown up in church my whole life. I didn't come to Christ until I was 24, but just my whole life I've spent in this religious culture and I've never really heard anyone teach on the discipline of fasting until I started to look for it myself. Okay. And so, and that's not a slam on anyone local or our church that I grew up in or the church that I'm in now. It's just never been prioritized, but It's such, oh my goodness, like it's such a foundational practice of so many of our heroes in the faith, Jesus himself. Right.
And so I started to think like, why have I never fasted? Like, why, why have I never actually fasted? And I kind of tiptoed into it with, I hope, I don't know if you're your readers know who Wendy Speake is, or if you've heard of the 40 day sugar fast, like it started that way. And, and I really started to look into the word of God to see who else fasted. Like, why did people fast? What was their motivation? What was the outcome? Like, you know, how did God use it? And so I started to get hungry to learn more about that. And so I started practicing fasting on my own.
And obviously there are scriptures, you know, obviously Jesus says, don't do it. Um, don't do it for selfish reasons. And maybe that's why a lot of people don't talk about it or teach it in some places, but it is something that should be taught, that should be practiced individually and corporately.
And it is a faith changer. Like it is a faith changer. And so when it came time for us to, to make this decision, do we go back now? Do we wait a year? Do we pursue travel sports or something like that? I did tell my children, okay, there's this spiritual discipline god teaches us in the Bible of fasting and, and mom and dad are going to pray and we're going to fast. And we invite you to do that with us. Now, I believe a true Biblical fast is no food, only water. That, you know, is a true Biblical fast. People in the Bible who fasted, Jesus fasted, there's even more extreme ones. But, but it's going for a period of time without food and only drinking water.
Now my children were, what? 12 and 13 at the time, their metabolisms are kicking. And so it wasn't like they were going to go for three days without food, but we kind of, we introduced them to it like, "Hey, let's give up sugar, this week. You give up sugar, you give up ice cream, you give up whatever. And every time you think about that food, let's pray about this decision. God, what do you want us to do? God, show us the way. God open doors and close doors, you know, make it abundantly clear."
So that's really how we brought them into one, the idea, the practice of fasting and help them implement it for themselves. Since that time, we have had other periods where we've encouraged them to fast with us and they have at different times, but that was a big one. Like that was a big one for them. I think to see, okay, you know, one, not only should we seek what God wants us to do, but like, here is a way to actually like lay ourselves before the Lord and say, I really want to know God. I really want your will over this and not my own.
And when we're willing to sacrifice something in order to hear from God, you know, I think God sees that and he hears that and he acknowledges it. So fasting was a big part of our decision and we obviously did come to the decision to, to send them back. Again, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't horrible either.
And it's just now this is their second year. They just started their second year back in public school and they're really doing great.
Lauren
That is amazing. I love that them in the fasting process. And yeah, it doesn't have to be a full fast of all food. There are things that you can do, you can fast social media. You could fast from just secular entertainment in general. There are so many different ways that we can fast, or there's even the Daniel fast that it's certain food items that you fast from. So I think they focus on like nuts and vegetables and things like that, that you can eat. So definitely a lot, if anyone wants more on that, just go ahead research it, there's plenty of resources out there. So, when you were finishing your fast and you said you, you obviously came to the conclusion of sending your kids back to public school, were there any specific things that stood out to you that was God confirming that that was the right decision, or was it just a peace in your heart?
Rachel
So yeah, there were, well, let me back up just a little bit and say that when we fast, Satan knows. Satan knows he notices and, I will say that there for me, and I know for my kids too, it was a struggle. Like, I feel like we were being pulled in both directions. Pulled to stay home because this is why we love it. This is why it's good. Pulled to public school because we know that God, you know, I don't believe is that it was an accident that he planted that mindset in our hearts when we chose to homeschool that you'll probably go back someday. Right?
So we were being pulled in both directions and God is not the God of confusion, right? I kept having to tell myself that over and over. And I felt so confused, even in the midst of the fast. I felt so confused and conflicted, and I just continued to have to tell myself and my children, cause they were confused too, you know, God is not the God of confusion. He has a perfect will for us, we are just choosing to follow that. And it's not always going to be easy. It's not always going to be perfect, you know, because we're human, but like, we're going to go where he leads us.
And so, yes, we had to jump through some hoops to be able to go back to public school as quickly as we decided to. Like I said, we wanted to go to a school that was outside of our district that we live in, so we had to be released by the school district that we did live in. They said no, at first, they said no. And so we were like, okay. Okay, God, was that it? But we still, we didn't have peace. And so, under the advice of some friends, we applied again. We appealed again, with, with more reasoning. And so they did release us.
And so it was literally like the week before school. Like the week before school started. So we were ready. We were ready to jump back into homeschooling for another year, to look for a house, to move if we needed to, or we were ready to, to go back if God said yes. And so there were definitely some things that only he could have done, like only he could have done.
But the enemy knew like the enemy knew, and there were definitely some, some times like, oh gosh, I could even cry thinking about it. Like there were some times of just utter confusion and like, God, are we doing the right thing? But he did, he did make a way. He, I can't say I fully love that they're back in public school because I miss them. I don't think the education, you know, the public education is as good as what we can do at home, but we learned a lot while we homeschooled and we supplement and we challenged them in different ways and but they are, they're thriving .
Even, oh my gosh, just the fact that they had to sit out for a whole year, and not play sports that they loved was honestly, and truly a blessing. We were able to teach them. They were, they never got angry or frustrated or, you know, just anything like that, but they did want to play so badly. And from very early on in that, that first year, we were like, you guys, what if God has gifted you this, like being an athlete, being a leader, using your gifts and abilities for God's glory is more than just about scoring points. It's about having patience, kindness, self control, gentleness, you know, all those fruits of the spirit.
And so we were able to help them take that year, that they had to sit out and, and demonstrate what teamwork looks like, what supporting other people on your team looks like, even if you don't get to a single second on the court, if you don't get to score any points, they still showed up as teammates. And people were shocked. Like people were shocked that they went to the games, that they practiced, that we went to the games and we were like, no, this this is an opportunity to teach them what it looks like to wait on the Lord and to wait with a, a joyful heart, with a willing heart.
And so again, like I just see his hand all through it and I'm not saying we've done it perfectly, but God has definitely made a way and, and blessed, I think our diligence and our willingness to seek his will above our own.
Lauren
Wow. And so this is why I had to have you on the show! Just the the, virtues and the character that you are developing in your kids through all of this, is just shining through that, that's so much more important than even the sports itself. And so to build that in them, to teach them to trust, to teach them how to seek God, especially when you're not sure if you're hearing from God, the devil, yourself. I mean, that those are just things that are foundational for kids to learn now before they go out into the world on their own.
Rachel
Yes. Because that's the thing. They're going to have to make lots of decisions, like lots of decisions. And if we can, while we have them, teach them to make decisions with the Lord and with his guidance. And, you know, we tend to, when things get harder, we get confused. What do we do? We phone a friend or we call our parents or we call and we grape to our spouse, which I mean, those people are all there for us, you know, but, but instead of just first turning to the Lord, " Lord, what do I do? How do I navigate this? What's your will?"
And they are definitely going to have to make so many decisions on their own, and I pray they do look back on this season of homeschool, of going back to school, of having to sit out for a year, and they look back and they say, "Hey, we sought the Lord's will, and this is how he directed us. And if he did it, then he'll do it again in the future."
Lauren
Right. Yes, exactly. And things like teaching your kids decision-making and a lot of these skills, it's something that's, they say it's caught, not taught. You know, like they pick up on it when you do it together, when they experience it way more than someone just telling them how to make decisions.
Rachel
Right. Absolutely. And I do want to, if I can share some scripture verses that were, and still are very foundational for us as a family when we're making decisions. You know, obviously we all know Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path. It's so simple to say that out loud, but when you're actually having to live it and trust it, that's a whole different thing. And so that's a scripture verse that we talked about and prayed about a lot. Even more recently, I still try really hard to instill scripture in them and we talk about it and we memorize it together.
And one of the ones we prayed recently was Psalm 119:36, and the translation that I love and that we are using says, "Bend my will to yours, Lord, and not toward selfish gain." Because they are about to step on the courts. They are about to play their first season of public school basketball, and they're both really good and they both worked really hard.
And that scripture verse, I love it. And even for myself, you know, God, bend my will, bend my heart to yours and not towards selfish gain. Let me do what I'm doing for your glory and not just for my own name. And so it is just, I can't encourage you enough, whoever's listening, to be in the scriptures for yourself, but also have your kids in the scriptures as well.
And talking about it, you know, like, my kids read their Bible every single morning. And listen, my kids are not saints. Like, I'm making them sound like they are, like, just these super human beings and they're not, they're sinful. They're selfish. They're gripey some days, but you know, again, we have this time to mold them and shape them and I do see them learning and growing as we have these discussions in our homes.
So, you know, be in scriptures for yourself. Have your kids reading the scriptures for themselves and talk about it, like talk about it, ask them what they read. Ask them what that means for them today, ask them how they're going to apply it.
And it's just some of the best discipleship opportunities you will ever have, as you just go through normal every single day life with them. So yeah.
Lauren
That is amazing. I love all of that.
So now have you and your kids ever been in a disagreement over a decision? And how did you guys handle that?
Rachel
Absolutely. Absolutely. We have, you know, very in a, in a positive way, we have strong willed children, you know, they, they both, oh my goodness, like it amazes me. Like they are not followers in any way. And I don't know if that's because we homeschooled. I don't know if that was, you know, like from earlier on, I don't know if that's because how we live our life. I don't know. But they are, they are very strong willed children in that they know, they know who they are, they know what they want and they know where they want to go.
And so, definitely we have had disagreements over certain things. Um, Nothing huge, you know, just from at the top of my mind. We don't date. We don't really let them use social media. Like we don't have all those big things that a lot of kids are having disagreements over. But you know, who do I hang out with? Like, should I stay up this late? And you know, is that good stewardship of my body? Do I need to put more practice in or not? One of my children is like, he wants to work all the time at his skills, like all the time. And he has to work harder. And sometimes I just have to say, look, you need to rest. You have to like rest and trust that the Lord is going to bless the work that you've done and not rely on your own ability, your own effort to get where God wants you to be.
And then my other one, I have to be like, you're really talented, but you have to put in practice, you know? And so we do have disagreements over things like that, but we haven't had those like huge wins yet. You know, there's still Henry's driving with a permit. Milo can't go anywhere on his own. So like, there's not a whole lot to disagree over yet, but I'm sure it will come.
Lauren
Right, right. but you're giving them the tools to be able to know how to make those decisions.
So when did you even start working on this decision making process with your kids and trying to help them learn how to be good decision makers?
Rachel
Yeah. I would say definitely before we decided to homeschool, but just within that every single day life with them. Being with them all the time or most of the time you really start to see, and you don't have to homeschool to do this, but really, I think you just start to notice and pay attention.
And really, I want my children to make their own decisions. Like for the most part, as they grow up, you have to let go a little bit more each and every day. And so things like now, before it was then, like, oh my gosh, they were so little, but while they were home, I tried to teach them their own work ethic. Like to wake up and go through their chore list and get started on their schoolwork without me having to breathe down their neck and say like, do it, do it, do it, you know? So it was decisions like that. Like, do I get straight to work? Do I wait? Do I dilly dally and teaching them the consequences of their decisions?
If you wait until 10 o'clock in the morning to start your schoolwork, you're not going to be done at three o'clock when you want to go outside and play. They were, I mean, some days, but, just like really showing them from a very early age, like, this is what happens when you decide this way or that way.
Right? So as they've grown up more, more like, okay, if I don't study, this is going to be the outcome. Or if I, like this summer Milo wanted to make some money and he mowed yards. And I kept encouraging him, find more yards to mow, cause you're only going to have one and you know, that's great money when you do it, but if you have two or three, you have more money. At the end of the summer he was like, I need more money. And I was like, dude, I told you to get more yards and you didn't do it. So, you know, that was just really helping them see what the outcome of their decisions are.
And even now, like the sound seems so crazy because they're in the eighth and ninth grade, but we're already praying and talking about, what are you going to do for college? Like, do you want to play sports in college? If you're going to do that, we need to start praying and asking God like, okay, do we need to set up a social media account? Do we need to start looking at colleges? Do we need to, to do these things? Like what type of decisions do we need to make now to impact our futures?
Because girl, you probably know it, but we live in a society where it's just like moment to moment. What feels good, I'm going to do it. What doesn't feel good, I'm not going to do that right now. And kids are making decisions every single day that they're not going to see the outcomes from for a minute, for another few years or five years or 10 years. But teaching our children today to make decisions, and think about the outcomes and invite God into the decision making process is going to carry them well into adulthood.
Choosing who they're going to marry. Like, what kind of job do I want to do? Can I work and do something I love and glorify God, but also love the work, you know, like already teaching them to think about those types of things while they're 13, almost 14 and 15, is something that we're very aware of. Like, do I want my wife to stay home to be able to stay home, if she wants to, you know, I've got to think about that now, because if I have a job, that doesn't allow her to do that, that's not going to be great. Right. You know, and so we just have a lot of discussions. We have a lot of real life discussions.
We use our lives as examples. Unfortunately there's been a lot of things that have happened in our direct family over the last five years, people have made really bad decisions and they're seeing the outcomes of that. So, you know, like having those real life discussions, we just are very, very aware of that and, and open with our boys.
Yeah, I love that. I think that's so important. And as you mentioned, people, especially kids, they really do live moment to moment. And there are so many people that they don't look down the line at the consequences of their actions, or even what are your greatest desires. I was just sharing this on someone else's podcast recently that we often sacrifice what we want most for what we want now.
And look where our world is today because of that, you know, I mean, like you, you can, you can go back and point to so many decisions that were made, just because it feels good instead of what's right and what's God's will.
Lauren
Yeah, definitely. Now with your boys now back in public school and they're obviously doing sports, when do you make these conversations happen? When do you make time for these conversations to talk about the consequences of actions and to talk about what they've seen going on in family members or with their choices?
Rachel
Very good question. First of all, we have been very intentional in letting our kids be kids. So they didn't actually get cell phones until they went back to school. So like I'm talking like 13 and 14 years old. I know that's very culturally outside of the norm. Kids get cell phones when they're really young. They spend a lot of time on their phones. We definitely have limited how much time they spend in the world, on electronics, on games, even with television. And by doing that, we create more space for conversation, we create more space for relationship. And so that's one way that we definitely have been intentional in carving out time to talk.
They, gosh, and I know, this is so if people are always like, wow, Rachel, and like, this is not, I'm not tooting my own horn, but I am a habits queen. Like God has taught me to create spiritual habits that I don't have to really wonder, Am I going to wake up and read my Bible today? Am I going to work out? Am I going to make healthy choices? Am I going to go to bed at a decent hour? Like those are habits that we look at and just call them habits, but really they're God honoring habits. And so, I definitely have really felt compelled to instill those habits in my boys.
So they wake up, they do spend time in the word, they do their chores, like all this stuff before school. And that was, that was kind of part of our deal. Like, you're going to go back to school, but you're still going to have the same responsibilities that you had when you were homeschooled.
So they do have to get up earlier. They sacrifice sleep to do that. But because they spend that time in the word first, before they even get out of bed or get going for the day, it's an opportunity, like as we drive them to school, which I won't be doing after this year, which is really hard to wrap my brain around. But as we drive to school, it's just, "Hey, what'd you read in the word today? Like, what'd you read? Where were you at today? And like, how did that hit you? What do you think God wants you to know, about him? How can you apply that today?" You know, just really simple questions that sometimes we spend a good bit of time talking and a lot of times we don't. But it's actually just like, you know, when you learn something, if you could talk about it it sticks better, like you hold on to it, right? And so I know that getting them talking, even if it's just for a matter of minutes, it's actually helping them process and remember what they read and apply it.
And then in the afternoons, evenings, we talk about a lot of life stuff cause they see a lot of life stuff now. And so we have really real conversations about choices, again, that people are making, that we're making, and just, you know, what could the potential outcomes be good or bad?
So here's one thing we do, and this came out of COVID, but, during COVID, you couldn't go anywhere. We actually loved that time. We are a very close family. We loved being together so much, but obviously we got bored. And so every day we would go for a walk in the afternoon. And so this is what, 2024, almost 2025, I would say probably six out of seven days, every afternoon or evening, our family takes a walk together. We walk the dog, but, if our schedule allows it, we do it together. And so that is always like, I cannot tell you, I cannot impress upon you how valuable that is. Like leave your phones at home and go for a 30, 45 minute walk and you will have the best discussions like in the entire world.
And so my kids are taller than me now. Like, you tend to see mamas out with their kids a lot, but you don't see a lot of moms with grown teenage boys out walking every day. And so like, I'm very thankful for that. I don't know how long it will last as they do start to drive and get busier schedules, but they look forward to it. We all look forward to it. And so it's time well spent and we have great conversations out of that.
Lauren
I love that. And yeah, definitely think that that's something that families could easily implement. And it does remind me of Andy Stanley's book on parenting. He and his wife talk about how they want to raise kids that when they don't to anymore, still want to spend time with their parents with their siblings.
Rachel
Yeah, exactly. That's it. That's a big prayer of mine.
Lauren
Yeah. Now we are needing to wrap up pretty soon, but I wanted to just see if there are any parenting influences that have shaped you or what type of advice you have for other parents who are raising kids that they want to be good decision makers to be in the word and all that.
Rachel
Yeah, well, like you said at the beginning, I think it's really cool that we get to learn from people who are just a few steps ahead of us, right? God even tells us that, be willing to teach people who are younger than you, seek the advice and wisdom of people who are older than you. And so like, obviously humans are fallible. We mess up, people are not doing it perfect. But, if you have someone in your church or your local community that you know is seeking the Lord, you've seen them raise great kids, and listen, the outcome's not always gonna be exactly what we put into it, sometimes kids go astray, so like don't just base it on how great their kids are. But like if you've seen somebody raising children and you're like, "hey, I want to ask you some questions." Like don't be afraid to do that. I feel like we're not willing to get outside of our comfort zone to have conversations in our culture today because we're so stuck on just digitally living, but go seek out someone who is ahead of you a few steps and say, "Hey, could I have lunch with you?" I did that last year, with a woman in our church, and it was just like so valuable to me and I wish I had done it more honestly now looking back.
Also, you know, like I said before, be in the word for yourself, like be reading straight from the Bible. It is so full, like I can't tell you how many passages I've written in my Bible and I've written things like that's a prayer for my boys or teach this to Henry and Milo, or, you know, like a lot of times the scripture that they memorize just comes from my time in the word. And I feel God saying, Rachel, teach this to your boys. So be in the word for yourself. There are, oh my goodness, I should have been prepared for this, but like there are some great books that I have read, just coming to mind right now. Monica Swanson wrote a book called Boy Mom. That's one of my favorite books. But then there's also a little book that I pray. It's prayers, 31 prayers for your sons. And I read it every single day. Like, every single day. And it's really good. It's been a really valuable resource.
But yeah, just be interested in your kids, talk to your kids. And I know that's hard in today's culture, but, listen, you're the parent, put their phone down, take it away from them for a little bit, have a conversation with them. And just let them know that you care and that you're interested because my kids wouldn't talk about scripture with me probably on their own a lot of days unless I instigated. And so just being Interested in them and opening those doors for conversation. That's our job as a parent and so that be in scriptures, talk to your kids and definitely have that unplugged time every single day is very valuable.
Rachel
All Right. That was so, so great. And so we will wrap up right there because you just shared some gold. So thank you, Rachel, so much for sharing this. Where can people find you online?
I am on Instagram at Rachel J Mitchell. I have a podcast called Living on Mission and I talk a lot about faith and fitness and food but also talk about my family on there too, because it's all interconnected. Those are probably the two best ways to check out what God has me sharing and to engage with me.
So thank you so much. This has been such a joy to just talk about this.
Lauren
Yes. Yes. This has been fun. So, and then I wrap up all of my episodes with a little rapid fire decision making. So let me know what you would decide between these.
So early bedtime or flexible bedtime? Early.
Payment for chores or no payment? Depends on the age. I just started paying my kids for chores.
Art class or music class? Music.
Homework help or them figure it out? Oh, help.
Extracurriculars or free time after school? Free time.
And homework after school or homework after dinner? After school.
All right. Well, thank you again so much. This was wonderful. And I will definitely drop all of the links in the show notes as well as any resources that we had mentioned. So even I know there was an episode on fasting that I listened to on your podcast, I'll include that one too. And, the original episode that I found you on as well.
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