025: What's the Wise Choice — from Andy Stanley’s “Principle of the Path”
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Show Notes
In this episode, Lauren goes over a concept she learned years ago from the Andy Stanley Bible study called “The Principle of the Path.” The overall concept is to ask yourself, “What’s the wise choice.” To determine the wise choice, think about your end destination and let that determine the steps you take to get there. What direction are your actions leading you in, and are they helping you reach your goals or leading you down a path where you could say “How did I end up here?”
Links Mentioned:
· Decision Compass: www.AnchoredDecisions.com/compass
· Andy Stanley “Principle of the Path” Bible study
· Show Notes: www.AnchoredDecisions.com/25
· Podcast page: www.AnchoredDecisions.com/podcast
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Transcript
Hello, loyal Anchored Decisions listeners. Thanks for tuning in. It's been a few weeks since I have done an episode, that's because Florida has gotten several hurricanes. So we had several days off school where my kids were home with me and it's a little hard for me to record podcast episodes with crazy kids running around. Because of our renovations, we have no doors in most of the rooms right now so it's not like I could even lock myself in my office. You can hear everything bouncing around. Then on top of that, my one son was off for Rosh Hashana. My other son had the stomach flu and was home. So I've just had a lot of days off, feeling a bit behind.
So with that said, I'm excited to have another episode drop, but I also wanted to let you know that this will be my last episode of this season. So I have an exciting announcement for why I'm pausing the podcast for a few months.
One of the reasons is we just got our permit to take down the wall between our living room and our kitchen, so we can start our kitchen renovation. So I know it's going to be crazy here with contractors and my husband working a lot of hours, doing a lot to himself to save money so that we can actually afford to do all of the things that we want with this kitchen renovation.
But this also means a lot more work on my part since I will be helping out with things or having to clean up after them and make sure that we don't get dust everywhere in the house as we renovate. Our kitchen's going to be torn apart, so cooking is going to be a little more complicated. We are living in the house through the renovations. So it's just going to cause a little bit more stress on us as a family. And I want to make sure I'm dedicating time to my kids and focusing on them, be present with them, especially through the holidays coming up.
And I know that all of you are busy as well with the holidays. You might not be listening to podcasts at this time. And I want you to be spending that time with your family and doing Jesus Christmas stuff and Christmas activity serving in your church or wherever. So I'm pausing the podcast for this season, but this also means an exciting announcement for Anchored Decisions. And that is by spending a little less time recording and editing the podcast each week, I will be able to dedicate more time to building out more decision guides, more decision resources for you to help you in your decision-making journeys. In have finding your path, your purpose, staying in line with God's will.
And I actually have a one new guide coming out soon, which you'll probably hear about just through my social media and my email newsletter. If you listen all the way through to the end of this episode, I actually do give a sneak preview of what that guide is. So make sure to stay tuned to that.
Then I am planning on launching season two of the podcast in the new year, either January or February, depending on how our renovations are going. I'm still planning on recording throughout the next few months just not editing and posting the episodes. I have a few awesome guests lined up already to do some interviews. So I'm excited to share all those with you guys.
So if you are new here, welcome, go back and listen to old episodes, go through the list and download any that are applicable to you, that you'd be interested in. And if you're a loyal listener and you've caught several or all episodes so far, first of all, thank you, thank you. And then also, I just want to make sure that you guys stay connected because I don't want to lose momentum. I don't want to lose connection. So go over and follow me on Instagram at Anchored Decisions. Because I'll be sharing a lot of home renovation updates there. And then also, if you want to join my newsletter, I promise you, I do not send out emails that often, so I will not be bogging down your inbox, but that way you will know when the podcast is back up and running, because I will be sending that information out.
So go ahead and grab my free decision compass. That's a great resource for you to help set your decision foundation of what are your values and your non-negotiables and the things you want to consciously and to be intentionally focused on so that you can make decisions from that intentional place. So grab that at Anchoreddecisions.com/compass. That will get you signed up for my emails so that way you're able to stay informed.
Now, with all of our announcements out of the way, I'm excited to introduce this week's topic. This came from a Bible study that I did forever ago. I think back in maybe 2012. So it's been a while, but the topic still is. But I still remember so much of what was said. And this came from an Andy Stanley Bible study called the power of the path. It was a video series I did with my Bible study group and it just resonated with me so much and has so much wisdom to carry through life yet is a simple overall topic of what is the wise thing to do. What's the wise path to take? So I can't wait to dive into this with you today.
Intro: Welcome to the Anchored Decisions Show. I'm your host, Lauren Black, the world's biggest overthinker turned decision coach, all by the grace of God. Now I'm on a mission to help you make easier decisions, discover God's will, and live with purpose. Tune in weekly to hear real life decision stories, expert insights, and faith based strategies to help you navigate your decisions with confidence. So ditch your pros and cons list and learn to make better decisions without asking your mom or losing another night of sleep. Let's go.
Okay, so welcome back. Today's episode will be pretty short, but I know it'll be impactful. Wanted to just share some pieces from Andy Stanley's "Power of the Path" in making decisions. And so the main overall concept that he asks is what is the wise choice? So think about the decision you're facing or just one decision that you're facing. And what is the wise choice there?
Sometimes we get caught up in "oh, is this a bad choice? Well, it's not really bad. It's not really sinful. It's not really hurting anyone." But is it wise? And so you have to look at down the path as Andy Stanley calls it, and what direction is this choice taking you? And is it taking you in a direction that's leading to things that are good, healthy, godly, beneficial? Is it leading you towards your goals or is it just kind of meandering? You know, it's fun. But it might not be the wise choice.
So he always talks about how it's your actions, not your intentions that determine your destination. So you could have all of the intentions in the world of heading out to Colorado. Going to the mountains going skiing. But if you don't actually get on a plane and go out there or set the GPS to get you there, you might just start driving, thinking that you know where you're going. And then just like in Dumb and Dumber, end up in a completely different state, because you're not taking the right actions to get you there.
Now I know that's kind of a silly example. Let's think of something else. Maybe if you want to retire early and you want that financial stability within your retirement. What are the actions that you're taking now to get you there? So you might have a lot of savings and you have cash at hand and think, you know what, it would be really fun to buy a boat. I think our family would get a lot of enjoyment out of it. We'd have quality bonding time. We could bring our friends and family and neighbors out with us. This seems like a really good thing. But if you haven't been saving for retirement, and you don't have any savings set aside for that, then, buying a boat right now — yes, it might be fun, it might have a lot of good things that come out of it. But is it the wise thing? And is it what's leading you to your end destination of being able to retire early. No. Save for retirement first. And then if you've got enough in savings and you're doing well with that, and you have money left over, then you buy the boat.
So that's a more real life example of choosing the wise choice and looking far down the path at where you want to be and the actions you need to take to get you there.
You know, so often I see parents who have really crazy, young kids. I'm one of them. But you see these parents that give up on discipline of their kids right now, because it's too stressful. You just don't want to fight with your two year old anymore so you give in to giving them cookies for breakfast. And obviously if there's a one-time, one-off thing where you're giving your kids cookies for breakfast, just like a one-time thing that's not going to set them up for failure down the line, but if you are constantly giving in to every little thing that your child begs and whines for, even if it's not something healthy or good choice for them or you're just not ever setting yourself as the authority, if you're not teaching them to make good choices on their own, then look at what's down the path. How are they going to act when they're a teenager and they don't want to respect your authority and all the years leading up to that? You've let them walk all over you because you just didn't want to fight with your child. You didn't want to lay down the law and, you know, be the bad guy. And so where's that leading to? Is that the wise choice? So you have to make the hard decisions today, do some things that may not feel comfortable or fun or enjoyable, in order to have the path that you want, later on. And to be in the right direction.
When it comes to choosing the wise thing and knowing which direction to take, so much of this, as faith-based people, we need to turn to the Bible first.
There are so many wise Proverbs in the Bible. So many stories of wise people or people making poor decisions. There are Psalms. Tons of things you can turn to, to gain wisdom from. And then you look at Proverbs 16:9 – in his heart, a man plans his path, but the Lord determines his steps.
So are you aligning yourself with God's ways and tuning into his voice and what he speaks to you so that you can follow down the path that the Lord directs you down
and you're seeking and praying as you choose your direction, as you take those action steps that you're seeking out God's will, you're praying over it.
So just be in sync with God in prayer, in relationship with him and not just when you need him. It's like the child that if your kid only comes to you when they want candy, do you think you're going to give them candy and they never want to talk to you any other time?
No, you need to build that relationship. Be in connection with God. Be praising him, have a heart of gratitude and Thanksgiving. Then when it's time to ask God for direction, for help, for knowing what's the wise choice... then he'll give that to you.
In the book of James, he tells his audience, if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to you.
And it's funny that the way it's phrased has always rubbed me in an interesting way. Like God wants you to ask for wisdom and he won't find fault in you. Where it's like, he knows that we are not wise on our own accord. He knows that we are not, the smartest beings. He calls us sheep in the Bible, a lot, like dumb little sheep that need our shepherd to guide us. And in the Proverbs it talks about men are wise in their own eyes, but it's often foolishness to God. So, to me it's just funny to see that like, oh, he won't find fault in you. It's like, he knows that you're not super smart. In fact, when you ask for wisdom, that's actually showing that you're being humble in your approach because you're saying, "Hey, I don't have the wisdom it takes for this. I need that wisdom. God, please give me wisdom."
So that's just a humble way to seek out wisdom, to ask him and ask him all the time. It's not a one and done thing. Constantly be asking over all of your decisions and all of your actions that you take for God's wisdom.
So let's give a few more examples of what it could look like to do a wise choice versus one that just seems like, oh, it's not really a bad thing. It's not that harmful.
So one would be a financial decision of buying a car that might be a little beyond your means. So is it sinful to take out a car loan? No. Is it something that, you know, if you've got a stable job, will you most likely be able to make those payments? Yes. But is it wise to go into debt for something that's more borderline you can't afford? Or would it be more wise to choose a car that's a little more within your means? That way, if something happens in your life, some emergency comes up, you lose your job, or a hurricane comes and wipes out your house, there's a flood, a tornado, any natural disaster or a medical thing comes up in your family and you have all these medical bills. In those instances, you do not want to be so tight and money strapped because you chose a vehicle that was pushing it as far as what you could afford. So, what is the wise choice there?
Okay. So what's another example, maybe a career decision. Maybe taking the higher paying job with no work life balance versus a job that allows you to have more time with your loved ones. The Bible doesn't prohibit ambition or earning money. There's a lot of really rich people in the Bible, including Solomon and David and Job. But is it wise to let your job consume all of your time, your energy take away from your relationships. You might go through burnout or kind of drift spiritually if your job is all consuming. So what's the wise choice there. So sometimes. In these situations, we justify our decisions. Because we want it so bad or because, oh, it's not harmful or because it's fun and enjoyable.
And so certain things, yes, they might not be wrong. They might not be against the Bible. And these the really small seemingly harmless decisions don't seem like that affects anything, but over time, those decisions add up. They compound over time, they set a direction. And so it might be little steps that you're taking in the wrong direction that eventually leads you off the path to the point where you go, wait, how did I get here? You know, no one sets out to be in debt. No one's like, oh, I'm going to go max out every credit card and buy a house that's beyond my means that I struggle to make the payments on. And I just want to live right in the red where I'm constantly stressed for money. That sounds like a good plan. I'm going to go there. No, it happens slowly over time.
When you max out one credit card and then you open another credit card and then you buy a car, that's pushing it on your expenses. And then, oh, my husband's turning 40, I need to throw this big birthday party and it ends up costing more than you expected. And then you do renovations on your house that costs more than expected and all of a sudden you are in debt. And then if something happens, like I mentioned before, some medical thing comes up or a natural disaster or your car gets in an accident and the other driver didn't have insurance and your insurance doesn't want to cover it. Something like that can put you over the tipping point and it's like, wait, how did I even get here? Well, you made little small choices that were not wise decisions.
The same thing with relationships. No one sets out, I mean, at least I hope not, to get married just to get divorced. Say, oh, this will be my first husband, blah, blah, blah. I mean, you hear that joked about in some movies, but I don't really think anybody actually sets out to wreck a relationship down the line. Like you say your vows, like to have and to hold forever, through good and through bad, through ups and downs and sickness and in health. You say these vows. And hopefully most people mean them. And yet we get to the point where 50% of the population are getting divorced, including Christians. A lot of Christians end up in that boat. And so how did people get there? It doesn't just happen overnight. It happens with putting your job first and having less time. It happens with then maybe talking with a coworker and developing kind of an emotional attachment with a coworker that you're talking to. And then stretching your finances to the point where then you guys start having issues with your marriage and then not talking things out when you have problems arise and you know, just these little baby steps that take you from the strong, happy, healthy relationship of, you know, honeymoon phase, right after marriage, you're so in love and involved with each other, to drifting, drifting, drifting one step at a time.
And so what are those steps you are taking in your life? And are they wise? And are they leading to the destination that you want?
So one question you can ask yourself is in light of my past experiences, current decisions and future hopes, what is the wise thing to do? So look back at your track record, look back at things that you've done in the past or others who have done wise or unwise things in the past. Look at your current circumstances and what's right in front of you. And then look at the future. And that will help you choose the wise thing.
So what are some other ways we can also figure out what the wise thing is because sometimes we might be torn or, you know, you're so close to the trees, you can't see the forest through the trees. I think it is where like you're too close to the problem. And you're so excited about the idea of it that you sweep the red flags under the rug. I mean, I even had dating relationships in college. From day one, this one guy was so, so cheap. And we were hanging out we went to just get smoothies. We were at the mall. And the lady goes, oh, are you together or separate? And he goes better be together, thanks Lauren. And so I had to pay for his smoothie and that should've been a red flag. We weren't even dating yet. That should've been a red flag for me, that this was not the type of person I wanted to be with someone that was like that cheap from the start and that was forcing me to pay for him without even asking or like waiting, you know, that awkward pause of waiting to see who's going to pay, or at least pay for his own. If he's not going to pay for mine, that's fine. We weren't dating yet. But he kind of like forced me to buy his as well. And so that was a red flag, but I was so excited about the idea of this turning into a relationship that I was willing to sweep that red flag under the rug.
So look for outside advice outside eyes. At one point with that guy, we did end up dating, and my sister couldn't take it any longer. And finally, at one point, in front of my parents, mentioned something, "do you really want to be with someone like that the rest of your life, that's that cheap?" And I was like, oh, No. And so at that point, I was like, well, now I can't keep dating him because now my whole family is exposed of how cheap he is. And thank goodness that I broke up with him because A. I wouldn't have found Josh. But B. Just there were other things, obviously it's not just that he was cheap. But, that was just one of those red flags that I was sweeping under the rug that I was kind of ignoring was not paying attention to because I wanted the fun of that relationship. So have wise advisors and counselors. Ask, you know, thank goodness my sister took the initiative to say something to me. Because I'm the type that usually doesn't speak up to others and just like, well, they'll figure it out on their own. Or I might ask them questions generally without actually pushing it because I don't want to overstep my bounds. But, we do need wise advisers in our life. Be willing to ask people, "Hey, what do you think? Well, what are your thoughts on buying a boat? You know, what are your thoughts on taking this job and this position?"
Talk to someone who's been in that position. And say, "what's it actually like, and is this something I want, if my goals are X, Y, Z, will this help me reach those goals?" You know, if your goals are to have a strong family unit and you're accepting a job that has you working 24/7, then you're out of line there.
So, go to God in prayer, seek wise advisers, go to people who've had experience. And sometimes you don't even have to talk to someone one-on-one to see this, go on Reddit, go on Facebook groups, do some searching. Make sure that their situation aligns with yours. You know, so often I see people posting on Facebook like, "Hey, so I really want to homeschool my child. What curriculum should I use?" It's like, how are a bunch of strangers supposed to tell you what curriculum to use? They don't know anything about what your child's interests are, what their strengths are, what your family dynamic is like, how your child learns best. Find someone whose kid is like your kid and then ask them, "Hey, did the homeschool curriculum you used, did that work for you? What were the pros and cons of it? Did you like it?" Or, "which ones did you like? Which ones have you not liked?" But you need to find someone who has similar life experiences, and a similar child to yours.
And so it's the same in any situation. There are people that might make certain things work. Somebody who might buy a boat when their finances, they don't have anything saved for retirement. But maybe they have four income properties that they're able to sell at some point and have all the retirement they need from these properties that were a great purchase at one point. And so, yeah, they might not have cash in the bank right now for their retirement, but they've got a different means of it and that works for them. But maybe for you, your situation is different. So just make sure you're coming at it full picture, good advisers. Seeking out God's ways and turning to trusted advisors if needed, including financial advisors or a real estate advisor. Go to the experts in the field of whatever you are considering, you know, go to a career advisor if you need to.
It is so much better and wiser to seek the counsel first than to take the wrong path and then end up in one of those "what was I thinking? How did I end up here? Oh, I didn't know. It was going to be like this." Take the initiative first to set your direction on the wise path.
So I think I'll end it with that. I hope this was helpful. If you have time to do the Andy Stanley study on the power of the path, or I think he even has it via podcast now I think you can find it on this podcast, definitely, definitely look it up. He obviously does a way better job than me diving into it. But just wanted to pass his message along and hope that that encouraged some of you.
And then also I wanted to fill you in, I have a new decision guide coming out. The topic of this next decision guide is should you quit your job? So if you know someone that is struggling with the decision of whether or not to quit their job, to either stay home with their kids, find a different position, find something part-time, start a business, anything like that, then send them my way.
I'm seeking, through October, seeking beta testers for this guide. And they can get it for free in exchange for feedback and testimonial. So send them my way. And if that's you, then shoot me a message.
Okay, so that concludes today's episode as well as season one of the podcast. Thank you so much to everyone who's tuned in and listened. Please leave a rating and review if you've enjoyed my content or tag me on Instagram with your favorite episode, send me a message. I would love to hear what you're looking for more of, so that as I create content for season two, it's things that you want to be listening to. So shoot me a message. Or I do have a form on my Anchored Decisions podcast site that you can fill out with guest recommendations. If you know someone, or if you want to be featured, either sharing a decision story, getting coached on a decision, sharing some tips for how to make a decision in your field of expertise. I would love to have those type of stories on the podcast. So go ahead and find that at AnchoredDecisions.com/podcast. That's where you can find links to all of my episodes and the show notes there. So I hope that you will take the time to just connect with me so I can see how to serve you best. And in the meantime, I hope you have a great holiday season. Be blessed, stay safe and take care.
Outro: Thank you so much for listening. If you're looking to make better decisions for you, found it on faith and your priorities, go grab my free decision compass. This will help you set the lens from which you make your decision to be sure you're making the best, most intentional decisions. Download it now at anchoreddecisions.com/compass.