022: Setting Your Kids up for Success: How to Inspire Career-Minded Thinking by Nurturing Your Children’s Strengths & Passions
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Show Notes
In this episode of the Anchored Decisions podcast, host Lauren Black delves into the importance of helping children find their career paths early on. Inspired by her own experiences and volunteer work with youth groups, Lauren discusses the significance of guiding kids towards careers they are both passionate about and skilled in. She introduces Anna McLaughlin, a certified life coach and former corporate lawyer, who shares insights from her family's journey in homeschooling and encouraging career-focused education. Anna emphasizes the uniqueness of each child and the value of nurturing their individual gifts and passions. The episode explores practical tips for parents to help their children discover their paths, whether they are homeschooling or in traditional schools, highlighting the balance between supporting dreams and steering them toward realistic opportunities.
Key Discussion Points:
The Importance of Early Career Guidance: Addressing the common issue of students graduating without a clear career direction, leading to uninformed choices based solely on perceived financial benefits.
Personal Experiences: Sharing Anna's journey as a parent and how her experiences with her children have influenced her passion for helping them identify their unique paths.
Understanding Individual Differences: Discussing the inherent differences among children and how recognizing these can guide their future decisions.
Educational Paths and Career Fit: The importance of pursuing careers that align with individual identities and the dangers of following traditional educational paths without reflection.
Training Children in Their Unique Strengths: Emphasizing the biblical principle of "training up a child in the way he should go," focusing on understanding and nurturing each child's natural inclinations and gifts.
The Role of Challenges in Growth: Acknowledging that while children need to be well-rounded, it’s essential to focus on their strengths rather than forcing them into areas where they struggle.
Creating Opportunities for Exploration: How parents can provide opportunities for their children to engage in activities that align with their interests, fostering a sense of self-confidence and encouraging their passions.
Navigating Traditional Schooling Limitations: Examining how traditional education often fails to address individual strengths and the potential for unrecognized career opportunities.
Celebrating Unique Callings: Encouraging parents to affirm their children’s uniqueness and help them navigate their identities, ensuring they feel valued and understood.
Real-Life Examples: The host shares stories of her children’s evolving interests and how they are discovering their paths, including her oldest child's entrepreneurial spirit and passion for creativity.
Listener Takeaways:
Parents should encourage their children to explore their passions, even if they change over time.
It’s essential to create a nurturing environment where children feel free to express their interests without the pressure of traditional expectations.
Helping children define their strengths can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling career paths.
Links:
Anchored Decisions Episode 21: How I decided to send my kids to public school as a Christian
School Decision Bundle: www.anchoreddecisions.com/schoolbundle
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6
"The Journey of Desire" by John Eldredge
Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
Westminster Shorter Catechism #1:
Q: What is the chief end of man?
A: Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.529 Savings Plan instead of Florida PrePaid
Connect with Anna: SheConsidersAField.com
About Anna McLaughlin:
Anna McLaughlin is a certified life coach, investor, entrepreneur and encourager, specializing in equipping homeschooling entrepreneur women of faith to build a legacy of peace, purpose and JOY.
After five years as a corporate lawyer with a global law firm, Anna chose to leave her career so that she could craft a life and entrepreneurial journey that allowed her to invest her time and talents in her family first. Now, she helps powerhouse women of faith navigate the Proverbs 31 invitation in their own lives - how they can know their purpose and OWN it unapologetically - both at home and in the marketplace. She does this through her podcast, She Considers a Field; coaching; and her wellness business.
Time Stamps:
00:00 Introduction to Today's Topic
02:16 Last Week's Episode Recap
04:04 Meet Anna McLaughlin
05:37 Anna's Family and Homeschooling Journey
08:02 Understanding Children's Unique Paths
19:14 Balancing Passions and Practicality
24:56 Rethinking the Value of College Degrees
26:09 Entrepreneurial Spirit in the Family
26:53 Alternative Education Paths
29:40 Encouraging Children's Unique Talents
31:01 Faith and Career Paths
33:28 Supporting Kids' Career Exploration
38:40 Practical Steps for Career Preparation
42:45 Balancing School and Personal Growth
46:05 Rapid Fire Questions and Conclusion
Connect with Lauren on social media:
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Check out the Anchored Decisions website and decision guide shop:
www.anchoreddecisions.com
www.anchoreddecisions.com/shop
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Transcript
Lauren
Today's podcast episode is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. In all honesty, I can picture Anchored Decisions kind of going down this route eventually. It's something that's been on my heart for years after working with youth when I used to volunteer with youth groups. And it is all about helping kids find their path, find a career direction early on so that they can be set up for success and find something that's a really good fit for them.
So often you see these students go off to school or end high school with zero idea of what they want and they're kind of forced to pick a path at that point. And they just pick something generic. “Oh, I can go into business or I'll just do nursing or medical.” And it might not be the best fit for them. They might not even know what the job entails and what it looks like to be in that field or that position. Sometimes, it's all about the money. “Oh, I want to be a doctor or a lawyer because that brings in good money.” And they don't know what's out there. They don't know what would be a good fit for them. They don't know what their true desires are. Helping them uncover these things while they're young can really set them up for success.
That's why I'm super excited for Anna McLaughlin to share her story of what she does in her family with her kids to help shape her kids' future, help lead them and guide them towards finding something they're passionate about that they can also be successful in.
So there are a few twists in here that I was not expecting. The first one is that Anna's kids are young. I really thought when I was pre talking to her before conversations that her kids would have been in high school or college and that's when she started this process. But no, she's got young kids in elementary school. So it's really encouraging. I hope that you glean a lot out of this. Listen to the full conversation so that you're able to help your kids in this way. Start setting them up for success now without squashing their dreams of something that sounds super silly or not realistic, while guiding them towards something that would be realistic within that realm.
Last Week’s Related Episode:
But before we dive into the heart of this episode, I want to let you know that my last week's episode is also related to kids and their education. If you are wondering what school should I send my child to, should I homeschool, public school, private school? In that episode I go through my story of how I chose that public school for my kids and what that process looked like so that you can apply the same process to figure out the best school for your child.
That was episode 21. So make sure to check that out.
School Decision Bundle
And then also don't miss my school decision bundle. So if you are torn on what school to send your child to, you're not sure what type of school or what specific school within that type. So maybe, you know you want to send your kids to private Christian school, but you just don't know which one. Definitely go check out my resources for helping you through this decision. Helping you feel confident, feel like you have covered all your bases, done your research, feel good about the decision you're choosing that it's the best one for your child. So you can check those resources out at anchoreddecisions.com/schoolbundle.
Intro: Welcome to the Anchored Decision Show. I'm your host, Lauren Black, the world's biggest overthinker turned decision coach, all by the grace of God. Now I'm on a mission to help you make easier decisions, discover God's will, and live with purpose. Tune in weekly to hear real life decision stories, expert insights, and faith based strategies to help you navigate your decisions with confidence. So ditch your pros and cons list and learn to make better decisions without asking your mom or losing another night of sleep. Let's go.
Lauren
Hi everyone. And thank you so much for tuning in. I am super excited for this conversation today with Anna McLaughlin. Anna is a certified life coach, investor, entrepreneur, and encourager specializing in equipping homeschool entrepreneur women of faith to build a legacy of peace, purpose and joy. After five years as a corporate lawyer with a global law firm, Anna chose to leave her career so she could craft a life and entrepreneurial journey that allowed her to invest her time and talents in her family first. Now she helps powerhouse woman of faith, navigate the Proverbs 31 invitation in their own lives, how they can know their purpose and own it unapologetically, both at home and in the marketplace. She does this through her podcast "She Considers a Field," coaching and her wellness business. So welcome Anna. Thanks for being on today.
Anna
Thank you so much, Lauren. I'm delighted to be here.
Lauren
And as I mentioned in the intro, I wanted to talk to Anna about a topic that's near and dear to my heart. So this is a topic all about helping your kids discover their path and just kind of get some career direction. I think it's something that's missed a lot in school and, we were talking before hitting record, how people are just thrown into the real world saying, go pick a major. And they don't even know what's out there, what's best fit for them. And they just pick a path, go for it. And then often want to change things up either in college, which is the probably a better option or after college when they're thrown into the career field.
So this is something that needs more discussion and more help. So, Anna, before we get started, dive into a little bit more about you, your family, your kids, and what you guys do.
Anna
Yes. So we are a homeschool family. We are an entrepreneurial family, investment minded family, and we didn't really start out that way.
So our kids are 12, 10, 8, and 6. And when our firstborn came along, as they do, she threw us for a loop. And I was like, I don't want to leave her. I don't want to be away. I want to be with her every second I get. And yet we built this life where I was a corporate lawyer, I was earning about three quarters of our family's income.
And so there was just this like, "what do we do? How do we unring this bell , this life that we've created for ourselves." So, lots of changes have come over the past several years. I know we're going to talk more about that, but if you were to take a peek at our family these days, we live in the North Carolina area. We love the beach. We love, "I love read aloud," so the kids get tons of story time. And then we have more of a classical bent for our homeschool journey. So it's all, I bring my lawyer brain to the table. It's all about helping my children think critically, helping them really understand their purpose, their unique purpose as individuals and then their larger purpose in the family of God so that they can make an impact on the world in the years to come.
Lauren
I love that so much. So have you been homeschooling your kids all along or did you try other options first?
Anna
So we decided to homeschool from the beginning, so we started out when my daughter was four, my oldest, and it's been trial by fire at times. We were not the idyllic homeschool family sitting on blankets in a field, reading read alouds for hours at a time.
But it was really important to both my husband and I, having come out of a workforce, which of course is what we'll talk about today, having come out of a workforce that wasn't quite the right fit, to really dive into helping our children understand who they are. And how they can serve in their adulthood.
Lauren
Yeah. Yeah. So I love that when we were first introduced and I had seen that you were wanting to help your kids discover their path, I was semi expecting your kids to be already in high school, in college or something like that. And so it's great to see that you are starting this now. So tell me more about this desire to help your kids find their path, and where did this stem from? You've mentioned kind of hints here about you and your husband, so dive a little more into your story and how that impacts this.
Anna
Sure. So, my dad had this beautiful thing that he would say, the greatest gift of being a parent is watching your children become who you always knew they were.
And it was my pregnancy with my second child that first woke me up to this realization of, I'm not just having, you know, I had a girl now I'm having a boy, you know, it's not just, it's not just that I'm having a completely distinct human being, that's growing inside of me. And I could tell it from very early on in the pregnancy he behaved completely differently from his sister, even that young, and that really rooted this idea. And you know, it's interesting, we know this as people because we're around people all day long and we know they're different. And yet somehow it's a fresh new idea as a parent to realize, "Oh, you are so different from your sibling." And that realization was a big part of our awakening to, they're going to need different things and they're going to become different individuals.
Now, that coupled with my husband and I's experience of having gone through this higher education process and really dumping out into a workforce where we were like, this does not fit. This does not fit at all, really made us very dedicated to this idea of we want to help our children make a wise decision. Why go to college and pay tens of thousands of dollars to, like you said, get a major, then go on and get a career that's probably mostly rooted in "who hired me, where can I get hired for whatever my major was," and then we get out there and we realize this actually doesn't quite fit.
Law was a beautiful fit for me in many ways, but the way that mattered most, which was quality of life, it was a terrible fit for me. It also missed the, there, there's a big empath, you know, interpersonal, just passion of mine. I want to connect. I was the one calling in floral arrangements when a client's family member passed away. And we did corporate law. Like, nobody else cared. The clients didn't care. The, my co workers didn't care. But I cared because that was how God had made me. And that piece was really not getting to shine forth.
And so those were, I think the two pieces was my husband and I's own experience, and then this realization of, "Wow, they really are very, you know, a very raw version of themselves from infancy. How can we help them?"
So there's this beautiful verse in scripture that says, "train up a child in the way he should go and when he's older, he will not depart from it." So I heard a commentator once say, we often use that as like, teach a child about God and when he's older, he'll still follow God.
But actually, if you look at the original Hebrew of the verse, which unfortunately I'm not a Hebrew scholar, so I'm just taking his word for it. But this conversation is actually about bent, train up a child in the way he is already created to go, in alignment with his identity, and when he's older, he will walk out his calling fully and perfectly. Okay. To the extent that we can be perfect this side of heaven.
Lauren
I have never heard that translation that way. I've always heard it, as you said, like, Oh, if you discipline them, right, and you train them up in God, then they should stay on that path. But wow. And you know, that is so important.
I've heard there was once this guy talking about how with kids, he had this student that was, suffering in math. Really, really poor in math, horrible math, but loved reading. And so rather than helping them advance in reading and excel and find some path along with reading, they hire the tutors, they get the help in math. And yes, it's important to be caught up and well rounded. You have to pass the tests and whatnot, but at the same time, if they're really that bad in math, they are not going to pursue, or they shouldn't probably pursue a path that includes a lot of math.
It's going to be a battle for them at all times, and so why force something on someone just because they should be, you know, good at it and should be doing that, what everybody else wants to do of, "Oh, you have to be passing. You have to be getting these A grades in all subjects," rather than saying, "Hey, let's get you someone that can help you advance in reading and writing because that's where you're naturally good at."
Anna
Yes. And my children know, I call them eat your vegetables subjects, they know what their eat their vegetables subjects are, the things that, yes, we need to do our due diligence, we need to be faithful in the things that are challenging, but we actually try to pull it into the larger context. For example, one of my children hates handwriting. And his real vision, he wants to be a sports analyst or, or an athlete, but I'm like, you're such a communicator, like, great, be the athlete first, but let's keep this in mind, this sports analyst path, being a commentator.
And so we talk about, how does handwriting fit into the context of his larger passion so that he understands we're not just kind of giving you this eat your vegetables work to make you miserable. We want to help you be strong and faithful in the work ahead of you. And we want you to be good enough. But, you don't have to be perfect at it. Just do well enough here and then let's go all in on what you're great at. Because think about, Lauren, what happens to our children when they're constantly being put in situations where they're not excellent, where it's just like more math, more math, more math because you're not good at math and meanwhile they've got this skill and gift in them that's just almost being let to languish because they're good enough at it.
"Oh, you're already great at reading. So don't worry about that. Let's focus on what you're terrible at." They start to internalize that belief about themselves. Whereas if I can tell my children over and over again, "you are amazing in this area, and you seem to really love it. Is that true? Okay, how can we do more of that?" Right? I mean, my son has got check marks all this week for school time because he's off doing a basketball camp. That's school for him because he loves it. Right?
So the more we can sew into that, the more, it's like, I think it's John Eldredge talked about in his book, Journey of Desire, what the kingdom of God needs is the people of God fully alive. And so that's our goal with our homeschool journey.
Lauren
I love that. I think that's beautiful. It's very important. And so why do you think that maybe traditional schooling kind of misses out on this?
Anna
What I would hazard a guess is, at the very least, there's just a limitation of resources. You've got one teacher serving 20 plus children for one year. And then in the homeschool context, you've got one parent, or two parents ideally, serving their small tribe from birth, from before birth, right. To be able to know each child at that level allows for that assessment to say, like, for example, my son, who's now 10, always loved sports, and so it'd be easy to say, we'll do more sports, but it's not just sports. It's also, he loves communication. He would have me read these little segments of stories again and again and again, read that part again, read that part again, because he loved the way the words fit together. And so, yes, it's sports, but it's also communication. And so then I'm sitting there as a parent with just four kids to come to know, and say, what is this exactly? And how might this play out?
And the truth of the matter is he might go on to pursue a career that doesn't even exist right now. I mean, that's happening in our generation, right? The things that we're doing didn't exist 30, 40 years ago when we were going through school. And so we talk about that too. Like, be faithful here, and then if you end up getting a right hand turn or a left hand turn, that faithfulness is going to follow you because you've learned how to work really hard in one area that you love, and that's going to make you more fruitful.
Lauren
Yeah. That's beautiful. Now, do you see a difference between the younger ones and the older ones in discovering that path? I know my three year old is a little too immature to handle some of this right now, if you ask him for his first day of school, poster he put for “what do you want to be when you grow up?” he said, "A really, really, really big Charizard." Which is a Pokemon, for those who don't know. It's like, okay, yeah, you go for that.
Anna
Maybe it'll look a little different when you get older, but for right now, that's the dream. Okay.
Lauren
Right, right, yes. So what do you see as the difference, and maybe has there been a certain age that really starts to shine through what those passions are and their strengths?
Anna
Hmm, that's a really good question. You know, I view it almost as a question of refinement. So just in the same way that I could tell my ten year old, when he was six, loved sports. Even when he was one, his first word was ball, that he carried a ball around. And and so there was this shadow of what was to come. But the edges were not very sharp. It wasn't refined.
So even my six year old, from early on, it's not just about, hey, what is he like? But how does he approach the world? And sometimes we see it best by contrast with other children, whether our own or their friends or whatever. So as an example, my six year old never gravitates to the fiction books. He always wants the books about the animals. First it was dinosaurs and then it was sea creatures and now he's on an endemic animals kick, which I don't even quite know what endemic animals are, but he's just got these buckets that he dives into, but it's all natural science and it's all fact based instead of the stories, which his older brother gravitated towards. And so if you asked him what he wants to be when he grows up, he's going to say he wants to be a scientist, because that's the closest approximation that he can come to. Now is that really what he's going to be? I don't know. I have no way of knowing that, but I know that if he were all of a sudden to come to me and say, you know what, mom, I think I want to be a communications major, and I want to spend my life writing fiction novels, and I want to be an editor. I'd be like, are you sure? Like, what's happening right now? And you know, come to find out there's some cute girl in the class or whatever it is like there, I know enough about him even now to know that there's a trajectory that makes sense. And there's one that maybe doesn't so much.
And so I think as parents, it's not so much, okay, can they decide as, where are we aiming towards? And that can be a combination of both the topic that they might be interested in studying, which I think is probably one of the more flexible things, right? It's much more likely that someone that starts out in sea creatures could end up in geology, but maybe not so much as far as their approach. You know, I've got children who are going to be much more geared towards sitting quietly and studying and reading and maybe communicating by email with a small team. And then I've got the one who's like, give me the microphone, I want to be on stage, you know? And so those things I think are a little bit easier to identify earlier on.
Lauren
Yeah. Yeah. And I think sometimes we have to start thinking outside the box. And as a kid, it's very limited what career options are out there. They see the firefighters, the doctors, the nurses, the teachers. And so for them, that's kind of what the options are or what their parents are. So my older son for his back to school poster put that he wants to work in the same position that my husband does, which is a Reactor Operator for Florida Power and Light, and he doesn't even know what that does or what it means. I mean, he got to visit the mock control room that they have on the power plant where they, the simulator, they call it where they do practice and all of their training. But to him it's just flipping switches and "Wow, this is cool and fun." So he has no idea. But I think you can start to be creative even as they get older and say, okay, if you're interested in dinosaurs, but you also are really strong in X, what's a way to blend that and define something that can kind of combine the passion with something that's a realistic job. And then also looking at some people are really passionate about things that they're not good at.
Anna
Yes.
Lauren
I had a friend who was really, really into horses, wanted to become a vet, an equestrian vet or equine vet, whatever they call it. She wanted to work with horses, and she could not pass the science. She couldn't handle the classes. So it's like, okay, is there a different approach to still being able to work with horses, or could that just be a hobby on the side that you keep and then do something else as your career?
Anna
Yep, That's exactly right. And I think there's something that you said that's so important where it's like, we can't necessarily know the end destination, right? We can't necessarily know this is what you're going to become. But I think one thing that really undergirds all of this conversation is helping our children to know and celebrate how God made them uniquely. It is a great thing. You know, our firstborn is much more introverted. She likes quiet. She likes space. And we've got a house full of monkeys that just climbs all over her, including the dog. Everybody wants a piece of my oldest. And we just really go out of our way to honor, "that's how God made you, and that's a beautiful thing. And God made your siblings very different. And that's a beautiful thing. And all your life, you're going to be working with people who act more like them. So now is your practice of, 'how am I going to navigate that? What boundaries do I need to put in place? When is my cue that I need some quiet time? How do I take that in a healthy way instead of screaming at everybody, right?'". Not that that's ever happened.
And so honoring their unique soul and saying who you are is valuable and there's an important place just for you. We don't know what it is yet. Here are some clues, right? And now it becomes this big adventure with the Lord to see what doors he opens, what he invites them into, and then their work just becomes an extension of really a walk with God. To say, okay, he's opened these doors, I'm going to walk through. Okay. That wasn't quite the right fit, but I can be faithful here, even though it's not a great fit right now.
You know, the Lord taught me so much in my five years as a lawyer and I identified six months in, I don't think this is a good fit. But he had me there for another five years and through that, grew me in faithfulness and patience and graciousness in, generosity of spirit. And so even those dead ends aren't wasted.
So I think we just need to keep in mind as parents, our job is not to uncover, "okay, all right, he played with rocks today, he's a geologist." That's not our job. Our job is to continually affirm how God made them and help them to be loving, and good stewards of their gifts.
Lauren
Yes. That is so beautiful. I think I keep calling it beautiful because it really is.
Anna
It is beautiful.
Lauren
Yeah. A few things that I've picked up on this are, as you said, if your son, all of a sudden he's wanting to do something completely different than what is natural to him, because maybe there's a cute girl who wants to do that. I think, as you said, just encouraging them in who God made them to be is important so that they do stay grounded in that and are confident in themselves and their abilities. I know me, I'm one of five kids. And I'm the middle. So three of my siblings are in the medical profession. And for me, I almost threw up when my husband just cut his thumb open a little bit. I cannot handle blood. And my brain does not remember information the way that my siblings do. So if I were to be thrown into a medical office and have to remember what someone's diagnosis is, I could be like, well, I remember a picture of this in the textbook, but what was that? You know, like the facts and the information – not there, but I'm a visual person.
My degree, and my first business that I still run is graphic design. So I am the artist of the family. And I'd always been creative, always been into art and, design stuff. Even creating my first logo in like sixth grade and all of my science projects and anytime I had a paper due, I would create a logo for it and design the whole thing and turn it in as this beautiful presentation when it's like, that's just supposed to be an essay. So it was just something natural for me all along.
And yet there have been times in the past when I'm looking at both of my sisters have master's degrees, my one brother has a doctorate in physical therapy. And I'm like, great, I'm just the, the loser of the family that, you know, doesn't have all the degrees and just this crazy artist that's trying to build my own business. And, you know, feels like a failure comparing myself to them. Where it's, God's just put me on a completely different path. And if I had tried to follow those paths, I would have failed miserably.
Anna
That's exactly right. And I think there's something really powerful in this constant coming back to this is how God made me, this is how God made me. When it comes to medicine, the path is getting a doctorate, right? That's the way you practice. And so, with artistry, you actually can apprentice under someone else and go out on your own, or you can be self taught.
And so, recognizing like one of the conversations, and I think this is a shift that's starting to happen culturally that I'm really fascinated by is, my children have asked many times over the years, well, do you expect us to go to college? And the answer is no. No, I do not expect you to go to college. Let your degree be in service of the work that you're endeavoring to do. And don't waste your time on pursuing a degree for its own sake. Don't just check the box so you can say you've got a BA or you've got, you know, I've got a JD, like what do I use it for now?
Although the truth of the matter is I use it every day, cause I'm going to wring every little bit of value out of that degree that I can in service to the kingdom and service to my family. So it's not wasted. But I think when you and I were growing up, everybody went to college. And a lot of people went to grad school and now even more so, over the past decade or so, this even higher elevation of the number of people who are getting graduate degrees, but I see parents that are raising children right now taking a breath and going, wait a second, that is hundreds of thousands of dollars in education and what is it for?
My economics teacher, I was an econ major, he spoke to us about this idea and he said, If you just look at it from a numbers perspective, which, of course, it's not just about that, but what you forego by going to college by getting a graduate degree is not your first four years worth of work, but your last four years worth of work because you're working four years less and you're losing that earning time.
My oldest is very entrepreneurial. She's always coming up with business ideas and she's always coming up with different inventions that she's going to sell. And so one of our conversations is, consider whether you're going out on your own and you're building something to bring to the marketplace and that's your work. And then is college really leading you further down that path, or is it not? And maybe yes, maybe it is, or maybe, you know what, you just want to take all the electives there are, and that sounds really fun, wonderful, but wait to make that decision until you're really sure this is what I want to do, and this is why this degree is so high value that I'm willing to give up this time in my business or in my job or with my family to pursue this degree.
Lauren
Right. Yeah. My husband went off to University of Florida. That's where we met and just kind of expecting, okay, you're supposed to go off to college. He started off thinking, okay, doctors make a lot of money, I should become a doctor. So he tries these science classes and couldn't handle them. So he has to change majors and thinks, what could be just a general degree that could get me any job? And he goes, "Oh, business, so I'll just get a flat out, straight business degree. You can do anything with that. That's what people say."
So he, during his summer breaks would go and intern where his dad worked. He was doing technical writing for his dad's company that they do black boxes for airplanes and stuff. And so he's doing the technical writing. So then he graduates and what is his experience in? It's in technical writing. So that is where he landed a job. It was in technical writing. He did not ever want to be a technical writer.
He didn't really like anything business wise until finally there was an opening for a two year technical program through the state college near where I live. He was across the state from me. And so there's this opening to be able to work in the power plant. My dad worked at the college and was able to pull some strings for them to open the registration since he had already missed it. And so he did this two year technical degree, got his foot in the door at the power plant, and then just has been kind of in training there, and then working a little bit and then training for the next step up. And he's just been working his way up within the power plant and his business degree means squat there. It has no worth. It has not helped him at all. The only thing that would have helped if he had an engineering degree, he could have bypassed some of this training that he had to do in order to get where he's at and there might've been a little more opportunities to take different paths within the power plant, but for the most part, his degree is useless.
So with our kids, instead of setting up the Florida prepaid plan, that is just for college, we decided on, I don't know the name of it, see, I'm telling you, I don't remember details.
My brain just doesn't work though.
Anna
You're an artist. You're in the perfect place.
Lauren
Yes. So we've got this savings account that allows them to be able to pull out without penalty and use it for other things. So we are saving for an education, shall they take that path, but it doesn't have to be used towards that.
Whereas if you pull out of the Florida Pre-Paid, that's meant for college and you don't go to college, you take a huge loss in some of the interest and the savings that you've put into it and there's penalties there. So yeah, we wanted to leave that door open for if our kids, my six year old wants to do what my husband does. Great. You skip the university and go straight into working there.
Anna
Yep. Yeah. And my husband and I talk a lot with our children cause we do real estate investment and, we've talked over the years of the power of having really excellent people in these trade professions. Where, with with contractors and things like things like that, half the battle is just getting them to show up when they say they're going to show up. Right? And so how can we have people who are really faithful before the Lord in these positions of really impact for the larger community in a very practical way.
So my husband has the same background too of getting a business and economics degree. And then his favorite career was in CT was in, X ray and, and, Oh, now I've lost the word. Whatever those scans are, the CT scans. And, so he did that for years before he started as an investor. And it was like, he didn't need his degree at all either. Well overqualified for, you know, whatever he needed to do there.
Lauren
And then sometimes though, I think God uses certain things as stepping stones to get where you're at. So if Josh hadn't gone off to University of Florida, we wouldn't have met. And he didn't even know about the program that was a three hour drive from his house, at the power plant and with the college there, that partnership they had. And so he wouldn't have gotten to where he's at today and his current position, if things hadn't fallen into place, the way that they had. So God will use those. Even if you think like, man, I wasted four years on a degree and all this money and these things, but God will use those as stepping stones.
And you know, even for me, I felt God calling me into graphic design and there were opportunities. I was at a leadership lunch, I was one kid for my whole high school selected to represent my high school at this leadership lunch. And I had to stand up and say what I wanted to do. And I was like, I want to be a graphic designer. And there was a lady sitting at the table I was assigned to who owned her own graphic design business locally and was like, "Hey, I'd love for you to intern with me." And so things were just kind of set up in my favor for that.
And then, in college, we had to do two years of general art before applying to your specific art major. So before graphic design, printmaking, painting, drawing, all of the different majors. So I do my two years, put together my portfolio. My portfolio wasn't super well rounded cause I was like all in for graphic design. It's like, I don't want to put my photography in there because I don't want to be a photographer. I want to be a graphic designer. Well, of course I don't get into the program. So I then changed my major to advertising. I'm like, okay, I'll do advertising at UF. I'll go home and at the community college, I'll take some graphic design classes there. And partway through summer, when I had already changed my major, was taking new classes to catch me up on advertising, I get a call that said, "Hey, you were number 19 and there's 18 kids, somebody dropped out. Do you want the position?" And I said, absolutely. And that to me was just God confirming that this is my path for you. And it's not from your own abilities that you've gotten into this program. It is my doing and me lighting the path for you.
That was my confirmation that yes, this is the path that he wants for me and he wants me on, cause it wasn't, then that door would have stayed closed, I'm sure.
Anna
That's so beautiful. Yeah, I like to say none of it is wasted. That's part of the Romans 8:28 promise, right? That no matter what, he works it all to good. So I think that's so beautiful.
I think it's a good reminder for any of your listeners that are in this road, in this journey of parenting, where there's a sense of, "Oh, I want to help them understand who they are." Our children are going to hit some dead ends too and that's actually part of their story. And God's going to use that as well.
Lauren
Yeah. Have you found any of your kids have already kind of made a shift in their desires and even their strengths within schooling?
So my firstborn, I think is my most, still, she's, you know, of course the oldest, but she's, she's my biggest puzzle. She loves to read. She loves words. And so there was a lot of conversation around literature, around teaching, of course she wanted to be a babysitter, you know, that was the big thing. But the more I actually listened to her talk, the more, because for the other ones, the, the topic feels a lot clearer. You know sports and then my younger daughter is all about anything cute: puppies, horses, you know, so right now she wants to be a pet sitter as her career. There's a whole question, can I make a living as a pet sitter? Yes. Here's how you know, there are there are always opportunities, right? You know own the pet setting business, own a house that all the dogs come to, whatever it is, there's always a way. And then of course the scientist.
But my firstborn has seemed the most enigma to me, a little bit, as far as where she's going. And so what's been interesting is the more she talks, the more she grows, the more she reaches this, you know, as a classical focus for our homeschool journey, you start out in the grammar stage where it's all about just learning the words for different ideas. And now she's moving into the dialectic stage, which is where you're asking a lot of questions: Why is it this way? How do I understand this? What does this mean? And starts to kind of circle around an issue and understand it from all perspectives.
And the more she's done that, the more I've seen this singular creativity that's not just "Oh, I'm going to create a piece of art" because that was one of the other things, maybe I'll be an artist. But it's not just, I'll create a piece of art. I want to make a YouTube channel where I teach art and I'm going to use these specific tools to teach art. And then I'm going to craft this little Lego world, and then we're going to make a stop motion video. And then we're going to sell the stop motion video. And everything kind of ends with a business plan, where I'm like, you're an entrepreneur. You're a creative and you're a tinkerer and you're an entrepreneur. And so I don't know what that's going to look like, but she started really stepping into that identity, and I think that's one of the things that we've, in this postmodern world in which we live, we tend away from definitions a little bit, but I just want to invite your listeners who are parents to carefully and thoughtfully help their children define themselves to a degree, and not in a way that's restrictive of you can only be, or you are not this, but you are this, but just this invitation to say, I see this in you. Does that resonate? Would you like doing something like this in the future? Okay. How can we do more of it now?
And then as they do it, for example, she really leaned into art and she loves creating art, but that's not where she ends. She's always ending with this business piece. So, okay, how can we give you room to play there? So when she wants to, create bracelets to sell, okay, great. Make the inventory. Let's talk about the business plan. How much is it going to cost? How much are you going to make? And then we play with that space. I'm more intentional to really sit down and have those conversations with her because it's the thing that keeps popping.
It's like it's refining and it's becoming more complex as she's grown and I've noticed that specifically with her and then a little bit as I mentioned with my older son of that like all balls all the time, but it's also communication around sports. It's not just sports themselves. So it's like it becomes, I don't know, more interesting.
Lauren
Yeah. And what I pick up from this too is that you're not shutting down their dreams for being something that's not realistic. You are encouraging them in a direction that could be realistic. So even pet sitting, that seems like something that most people, you know, for someone who their kid tells them, "Oh, I want to be a pet sitter." They're like, "That's great, honey, okay." And then they're like, pshht they're never going to be a pet sitter. Not going to make a living off of that. And instead you're saying there are ways that you can make a living off of pet sitting and animals. And even with the sports, the chance of a kid actually making it professional in sports is very, very slim, but the chance of someone becoming a sports analyst or a sports talk show host and things like that, much higher, there are more opportunities for that or even coaching within sports.
So keeping an open mind without shutting your kids down and then encouraging them in that step. And they could change their minds a million times before they graduate. I know I was in a Facebook group of Christian moms and this mom wrote this whole post of how she was very concerned for her child who hasn't picked a path yet and doesn't know his passions and blah, blah, blah. And then someone's like, well, how old's your kid? And she goes, Oh, he's in sixth grade. And we're all like, wait, what? You do not have to be that concerned at sixth grade that he hasn't found his path yet. But I think being aware and helping your kids explore things, and then we haven't even really dove into trying to find internships and trying to oversee what actual positions are like, because I had heard of this kid that watched some episodes of CSI and they're like, Oh, I want to be a CSI person. It's like, the TV shows not really what it's like, but like you could go shadow someone in that field to get a better feel for that. So do you have any thoughts on that or advice in that realm?
Anna
So one of the things that we talk about with our children is to pray for opportunities to learn and grow into this space. So we, actually, through a podcast, connected with a gentleman who did sports announcing for a very long period of time, and so I asked him, would you be willing to talk to my 10 year old about your work, you know, about what you did? And so we sat down together and we wrote out questions beforehand that we were going to ask. And so that was handwriting, right? Writing out the questions, and he's the one that hates handwriting. And then we had a 30 minute meeting with this gentleman over zoom and asked the questions. And one of the things that came up during this conversation, which just isn't so much pertinent for becoming a sportscaster, because I know a lot of your listeners probably won't have kids that want to be sportscasters, but more for the exercise itself was, what the gentleman kept talking about again and again, was the importance of technology. Having the right tech, understanding tech. I never would have known that was part of it. Here I am thinking about, "Oh, he's a great communicator. He loves sports. He loves statistics about sports. He memorizes all the things, right?" And then here's this whole other layer.
And similarly to what we were talking about, I think before our call, my brother became a doctor because he's great with kids and he loves medicine. What he didn't realize was all the paperwork that came with being a doctor, which is really one of the biggest parts of the job and one of the most important in today's litigious times, right? Just like making sure that you've got all your I's dotted and T's crossed. And if you'd known that, would you have picked that path? Because that's been, you know, it's a totally different bucket of skills that you just don't realize up front.
And so, praying for those opportunities. How can I connect with people who do this work? Who knows something about this work? There's even just online classes like we'll do out school classes. And so my son does a sports trivia class. And then, each of the children have an out school class that they do once a week that's in alignment with their bent. Finding opportunities to practice in small ways now. So for my oldest, she's got her YouTube art channel. My second born, one of the things that I'm asking of him this year is to do what's called memory masters in our classical conversations community, where he's going to memorize the year's worth of schoolwork as a way to stretch his memory, because that's one of the tools he needs for what's coming, what he wants to do, potentially.
It doesn't have to be big and we don't have to wait until they're 18. We can start to do these tiny little steps now and help our children recognize this is part of the preparation for where you think you're going. And it doesn't matter if you end up there or not, it matters that we're faithful with what we think we are and what we think we're good at and then trust that God's going to I say faithfulness is a transferable skill. It goes with us. So even if God moves the needle and says not sports casting, but actually financial analyst, right? Well, all his work as an analyst in sports, as a 10 year old, right, is going to serve him well in his financial analyst work.
So anyway, those are just a few examples, but even fantasy football for my sports guy, right? That's one of the things I'm like, that's school. Go for it. Have fun with your team, right? And he loves it. So he's doing more of it. So he's growing in it. It's that mastery piece that we're always after.
Lauren
Right, right. And I think that is something that is missing. It kind of points to the little steps to take someone to a position that you don't think about. You know, someone might look and say, okay, I want to be the head of a company. You don't just jump out of college or step out of high school and become the head of a company, if it's a big corporation or whatnot. You have to work your way up. I have a friend who's, a very high position within Kohl's. And she started off as just an associate. And she then worked her way up to a manager and then became the district manager and then she was running her own. And so it's like, you have to work your way up to that.
And, we have to help them along the way to find those pieces and yeah, start training your brain now for things like the memorization, that is so golden. I think if anyone got just one thing out of this whole thing, which there's lots of golden nuggets here, that would be it. If just to, to start with the little steps and to encourage them in that.
And now I know we're getting close to the end of time here, but I do want to just throw one more question out there of, how do you suggest that people who aren't homeschooling can help with this when their kids, like my kids are in public school? So how would you advise other parents to support their kids in this way?
Anna
Yeah, I think the work is the same right and so much of it can be done completely outside of the homeschool context. It's just that we've chosen to shape some of our curriculum around our children's events, but same with their free time outside of school to really lean into this idea of — there is something you were made for. And it's not really one thing, right? We all have that overall call of glorifying God and enjoying him forever, right? That's the chief end of man, as the Westminster Catechism says. And so that's going to play a little differently for each person based on their personality and bent.
And to some degree, that's in and of itself, that's enough of a conversation to introduce to our children again and again, this idea of you were created with purpose. You are the way you are for a reason, and it's a good reason. You need to bring refinement, right? We all need to be sanctified. So the one tends towards quiet, you know, needs to make sure that they're not getting mad at the one that's too loud, right, that they're giving each other room to be who God made them to be and respecting one another's boundaries.
And then the step beyond that is to go, okay, God made you to do a thing, what would you love to do? And then what gifts and skills do you need to go all in on to really grow in that? So if you've got someone where they love math. Maybe it's okay that they shoot for a B or a C in their literature and their science, but they are going to just go all in on math. And they're going to go all in on math because that's what they want to do to glorify the kingdom of God. And they're going to do it again and again and again and again and again and again.
And then it's okay if some of these other things are what we call the eat your vegetables, right? Or just like, just do your best. Be faithful, get it done, honor your teacher, don't grumble in class when you come to this subject, but know that you are exceptional in this area, and make sure you're really shining there so that you can grow even further and do even more because it's what you love too. So that in and of itself, I think is enough.
And I think too, we need to keep in mind, it's okay for us as the parents to co labor with the teachers and say, you know what? He's going to show up, he's going to have his work done, but this is where he's really seeking to grow. And we co sign on that. That's what we want for him. Give him all the hard stuff, give him extra for math. He's ready for it.
Help him grow, help him become as proficient as possible in this area. And we're okay if these other subjects aren't quite the gold star subjects. That's all right. And giving our children permission to be who they are, to recognize themselves, and enjoy that.
Lauren
Yeah. Well, we're going to end right there because that was just great advice for parents of kids of all ages. And I know I've got a lot to start implementing in my life now, and I'm excited to tap into my kids strengths and really help them in that way.
Anna
I love it.
Lauren
So, Anna, tell us where everyone can find you online.
Anna
So you can find me at SheConsidersAField.com and from there you can connect with everything I've got going on. I do life coaching, I've got a podcast, as well, where we have these conversations week in and week out and I'm really looking forward to connecting with your people.
Lauren
Awesome. Thank you. And now I do end all of my podcasts with some rapid fire decision questions, and I've tried to tailor yours towards kind of homeschooling.
So, and you've already answered my first one.
Homeschool at home or at a park? At home.
Field trips or science experiments? Field trips.
Mac and cheese or peanut butter and jelly? Mac and cheese.
Co op or solo? Co op.
Sports or music lessons? Sports.
And work in your PJs or regular clothes? Pajamas all day long.
All right. All right. Well, thank you so much. This was golden. I loved this conversation and I know that everyone's getting a lot out of it. So for all of you listening, you can definitely find all of the links that we mentioned, including the scriptures in the show notes. So make sure to check that out.
Anna
Thank you so much, Lauren. This has been great.
Lauren
Yes. Thank you.
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