017: Practical and Prudent: Getting Back to God’s Natural Design for Problem Solving

 
Episode 17: Prudence and Practicality in Decision-Making
 

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Show Notes

Join us in this enlightening episode as we sit down with Brenda Yoder, a licensed mental health counselor, elementary school counselor, speaker, former teacher, podcaster, and author. Brenda shares insights from her books, including her latest, "Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling Life." We delve into the wisdom of past generations, the importance of practical skills and problem-solving, and how to balance modern technology with traditional values. Brenda's expertise and heartfelt advice provide valuable lessons for navigating today's fast-paced world while staying grounded in timeless principles.

Key points:

  • Books Overview:

    • Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All: A guide for moms managing the busiest season of raising kids.

    • Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind: For moms in the transition between a full house and empty nest.

    • Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling Life: Brenda’s latest book focusing on timeless practical skills and values.

  • Folk Knowledge and Practical Wisdom: The importance of experiential knowledge and problem-solving skills in today's society.

  • Role of AI and Technology: Balancing modern technology with maintaining human capacity for problem-solving and critical thinking.

  • Common Sense and Values: How to use discernment and stay true to personal values amidst technological advancements.

  • Contentment: Exploring the human struggle with contentment and its impact on decision-making and life satisfaction.

  • Practical Tips:

    • Reflect on past experiences to build confidence.

    • Use journaling and conversations to reinforce personal growth and problem-solving.

    • Define and prioritize personal values to guide decisions.

    • Simplify life by focusing on a few trusted sources of information and inspiration.

  • Final Thoughts: Embracing a balanced approach to life that honors both modern conveniences and traditional wisdom for a fulfilling and purposeful life.

Links Mentioned:

About Brenda:

Brenda L. Yoder is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, elementary school counselor, speaker, former teacher, podcaster, and author of several books: Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling Life; Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind; and Balance, Busyness, and Not Doing It All.

She has been featured in Guideposts Mornings with Jesus devotionals; Chicken Soup for the Soul books and The Washington Post. She hosts the Midlife Moms and Life Beyond the Picket Fence podcasts and the Midlife Moms Facebook Group. Brenda twice won the Touchstone Award for teachers.

Brenda is a former History teacher and lover of antiques, gardens, front porch rockers, and her grandkids. She and her husband, Ron, raised four children on their family dairy farm in northern Indiana, where they currently raise Bernese Mountain dogs, goats, chickens, and cattle and host an Airbnb.

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Transcript

Lauren

What are some things that are missing in today's world that the people from past generations got right? This is prudence in decision-making, practicality and just learning wisdom from experience. So today we are so quick to jump to our phones for every answer, to turn to everyone else's opinions, rather than taking the time to learn from our past, to try things ourselves and figure out what works, what doesn't work and problem solve ourselves.

So tune in today, as I talk with Brenda Yoder, who shares tips and tricks from her latest book, called Uncomplicated, which I read and loved, so that you can also learn to have this wisdom from past generations.

Intro: Welcome to the Anchored Decision Show. I'm your host, Lauren Black, the world's biggest overthinker turned decision coach, all by the grace of God. Now I'm on a mission to help you make easier decisions, discover God's will, and live with purpose. Tune in weekly to hear real life decision stories, expert insights, and faith based strategies to help you navigate your decisions with confidence. So ditch your pros and cons list and learn to make better decisions without asking your mom or losing another night of sleep. Let's go.

 Hi everyone and welcome back. I am super excited for today's guest. I've actually been listening to her book on audiobook and it has been fantastic. So I can't wait to share with you and speak with Brenda Yoder. She is a licensed mental health counselor, elementary school counselor, speaker, former teacher, podcaster, and author of several books, which I'll let her introduce.

And Brenda's been featured in Guidepost's Mornings with Jesus Devotionals, Chicken Soup for the Soul Books, and the Washington Post. She hosts the Midlife Moms and Life Beyond the Picket Fence Podcast and the Midlife Moms Facebook group. So Brenda, welcome to the podcast.

Brenda

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

Lauren

Yeah. So tell us a little bit about yourself and your family and then dive into your books.

Brenda

Sure. So, I am Brenda Yoder. I live in Shipshawana, Indiana, which is kind of a touristy area, so large Amish community, but I've married a local dairy farmer. We were high school sweethearts and we were both teachers.

He just recently retired from teaching. We have four children. They were all three years apart, which means we had 13 years of junior high, which never seemed to end. But, we have two sons who are married and we have three adorable little grandsons, ages three, two and one. We have two who are single. One is a full time missionary. One lives 13 hours away in Oklahoma City and I travel a lot to see my kids. That's one of my new priorities. So that's a little bit about me.

The three books that I've written kind of go with almost kind of each stage of my life. The first one is called Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All and it really is a book for moms in the busiest season of raising kids, kind of when they're younger and you have a hard time prioritizing what is most important now and how to always negotiate your values and what to say yes to and what to say no to.

The second one is called Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind, which is one of my most heartfelt books. it is written for the mom who's in between the full house and the empty nest. So it really is for that mom who has one or more children who she has launched, they perhaps are in college or they at least have graduated from high school, but they're still raising kids. And I wrote that when I was in that season, actually when my third one was getting ready to go to college and everything midlife hits you. And there wasn't any resource out there for the mom who was not yet an empty nester, but whose nest was emptying. And so Fledge really is the handbook for all moms in that season.

My last book and most recent book is called Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling Life. And this really is kind of the culmination of what I've been living out and pondering and using in my classroom, in my counseling office, in conversations with women throughout really my adult life, as I've mentored, as I've taught, as I have been a therapist, and it is really is about bringing back to the forefront the practical skills, values, and mindsets that every generation before us has had and has lived out, but we, in this very modern, very fast-paced culture and one that is being overcome by artificial intelligence. We do not see lived out as often, and it's really kind of just a reintroduction of these basic principles that are embedded in humanity and God's plan for humanity. And I have the joy of reintroducing them to the culture today.

Lauren

Yeah, that is the book that I've been listening to on audiobook. As my audience knows, I'm not a big reader just because I don't have time, but I love listening to audiobooks as I cook and clean and drive.

So it's been really encouraging and honestly exactly what I need in this season because I am surrounded by a lot of chaos and so helping me to be a little more uncomplicated and I love that Brenda includes four questions at the end of each chapter that you can just reflect on and really dive deep into the concepts from the book and how you can apply it to your life, which is so great because what's the point in reading something if you don't actually make use of it.

So Brenda, when I first ran into you in a Facebook group, I really wanted you to share on some of these things from your book on the practicality and prudence in decision making and kind of foresight. So first off, why do you think those are things that are missing in today's day and age and with the next generation?

Brenda

I think because we have such a rescue mentality. Once we feel uncomfortable, we immediately look for what is going to make us comfortable. We do it in our parenting, whether we really intend to or not, when our children are in distress, whether they're a toddler or a teenager, we tend to think about what is going to make them happy, what is going to solve this immediate problem of their distress or their dysregulation now.

And I think for ourselves, we, too, even though we don't intend to, we tend to look to the immediate answer that's gonna make us feel better now, whether it's through Google, whether it is through a YouTube video, whether it is through any type of relief from what feels like a a problem that we aren't willing to really sit with for a little bit and figure out how to practically solve without all of these external things.

And I think when I started seeing this lack of problem solving in my counseling office before the pandemic, it was something I was starting to notice that a lot of the women I worked with or that I talked to even at events came with these problems that, they seem to not be able to just pull from their back pocket of how to think through the next steps or to not be overcome with such fatalistic thinking.

I think that's the other thing, too, is that we tend to swing between idealism and fatalism in our thoughts, and that's reinforced by social media. It's reinforced by the headlines. It was reinforced during the pandemic. And, the thing that I realized during the pandemic, living in a community where I visually see horse and buggies going down the road where I visually see, as farmers, we put our tractor in the ground every spring.

So when, in March of 2020, when everything shut down and we didn't know what to do, my brother in law still got out the John Deere tractors like they do every spring and started planting. And there's something about being close to nature or something being about, the practical skills, that help us know that no matter what's going on around us, life still goes on and we still have the capacity to problem solve because we're constantly problem solving with our hands and with our minds and with our bodies.

And that's the other thing that's missing is that we have removed ourselves from being engaged in our environment physically, mentally, emotionally, sensory. And, that really is what this book is about. It's helping us kind of just get back to a little bit more of God's natural design for our brains and for our bodies.

Lauren

Right?

Yeah. I love that. I know recently our pastor was talking about this almost addiction culture, and it's not just addiction to hard drugs. It's addiction to: let me pick up my phone when I'm bored or when I'm stuck, or maybe let me turn to chocolate when I'm stressed with my kids, which is something I'm guilty of.

And we have these coping mechanisms that aren't actually helpful, but they kind of just numb what's going on around us instead of actually getting to the root of the issue. And as you said, problem solving and figuring out how to move forward and be productive and fill ourselves with things that are godly and good, and not just these void, empty social media scrolls or going on Pinterest and looking at things.

So, you mentioned in the book, folk knowledge. So the practical wisdom gained through life experience. And can you share more about why this type of knowledge is essential today?

Brenda

Yeah, I think just even coming from a neuroscience type of approach in thinking about our brain stores, all of our long term memory and our short term memory.

And we have as humans, we are constantly learning from our environment, like our whole development, we are learning, learning, learning. And so our brain keeps track of that. And that's what our brain pulls from when we don't go to Google, when we don't go to Pinterest. And so, the reason that this is so important is because this is really how God designed us.

God designed us to be able to use his capacity of our brains to be able to problem solve and to be able to figure things out. And, the anxiety epidemic that's happening and, really the hopelessness for so many of our younger people, our young adults, our teens, even a lot of young parents that I work with tend to not access or not value or really recognize that they have the capacity to overcome problems that are in front of them.

It's just so important. It's, we rob ourselves of our own capacity, our own competence to be able to problem solve, to be able to approach what in life feels difficult when we don't give ourselves credit for the things we have already overcome in our life. And so just some simple strategies I use when I coach and I counsel, and I even use with young kids in my role as an elementary counselor is that, when you look at your own story, when you look at what you have overcome with, what you've accomplished, whether it's in your personal life or in your professional life, those skills are transferable into every other part of our life.

So for example, it had been several years since I had written a book and when I was getting ready to write Uncomplicated, I kind of felt like, man, I'm a little bit rusty with this because it's been a while. And I just had to tell myself, Brenda, you have gone through being a counselor in a public school system during a pandemic. You figured out some really hard problems that you had no idea how to do that. And when I tapped into the confidence that I have in my day job to transfer that into my confidence I have in my other profession of writing, then it was much more fluid. We're able to say I can do these things over here because I can do these things.

Then the confidence, the problem solving, the capacity, the strengths are all transferable. So we take it from one part of our life and we put it in another part of our life. And, It's actually a principle that helps us combat anxiety because anxiety says there's something about this that I don't know how it's going to turn out and I'm afraid to try.

And folk knowledge says, no, wait a minute, I'm not sure how it's going to turn out, but I need to try it. And if it doesn't turn out the way I hope it is, then I learned something from it and that gives me more tools in my toolbox to know what to do differently the next time.

Lauren

I love that. And I think that's part of why in the Bible, the Israelites, as soon as they left Egypt, God kept saying like, set up this as a memory and keep telling your kids and reminding them of what I've done in the past so that they could face things of tomorrow.

And Joshua and Caleb understood that. And they saw the promised land and said, yeah, there's giants, but our God is bigger and the rest of the spies were like, no, it's too scary. We can't do this. And it's like, do you not just remember leaving Egypt and all that God did to bring you out? He can do it all. So yeah, I think that's so important.

What are some practical ways that we could actually bring up those memories? Like, is it journaling? Is it talking with someone? What would you suggest there?

Brenda

I think all of those are really helpful. I think for myself, when I have a problem that I really know I have to kind of set aside some time to really think through, that I do that. I kind of reflect and say, Okay, so what do I know I have done? And then how do I take that and put it into this domain over here? I go through that process actually with clients sometimes. There was a young adult one time who really had a lot of anxiety after she graduated from high school. She wasn't sure how she was gonna go into this big wide world. She wasn't sure what she was gonna do and I said, you know what? Let's look at what you've already overcome. So we went back and we went into her story and were able to establish her strengths. And it's a really just a strength based in a growth mindset approach. And I think that's part of it. I think social media tells us everything has to be about perfection or achievement when really life is about growth. It's about growth mindset. As long as we're always teachable.

The other thing that I just simply want to say is that, when we're faced with something, rather than looking the answer up, through our phones, through our computers to stop, and to just say, okay, so this is the problem. Here's the obstacle. What do I think is the best next steps to do? And try that first. I think that's really the most important thing we can do for ourselves. Is because, with AI especially, I really am kind of putting my stake in the ground this year with this book, but also with, the principles that really are for just maintaining our humanity. Because within months it will be easier to have AI do anything for us that really robs us of our God given distinction as human beings, which is our mind.

And, you know, people who've lived through being a prisoner of war or the holocaust have said, " the reason that I was able to survive was because I protected the one thing that they were not able to get to, and that was my own mind." And something, that I haven't talked a lot about yet, but I'm going to be talking more about because, AI is probably the most potentially damaging, thing to humanity. It's not war. It's really not the internet. It truly is AI. And we as parents, we as grandparents, we as Christians need to really protect and nurture the God given strengths and capacity that He has given us as humans.

Lauren

Yeah, and I think AI can be helpful to a degree for certain things. Like I use it for my show notes of my podcast.

I take my transcript copy and paste it into AI chat GPT, and say, come up with a summary for this episode. And it's super easy for it to scan it and come up with it. But there are still things that you have to go in as a human and tweak it and make sure it's right, because some things are laughable, how off it is.

Like my last podcast episode, at the very beginning of the episode, I shared a personal story of an update on our house projects that we're doing. We're doing some home renovations and it gave me a title idea of something related to the house projects when the entire podcast episode had nothing to do with that.

So yeah, you have to just use your discernment and, you know, watch. And, and even, I put AI in for my backyard to come up with like a new plan for our backyard. And it gave me these like six inch pathways that just kind of curled into nowhere. I was like, what is that? It was so bad!

Brenda

Right. So common sense.

So that's, I think that's the one thing that AI can hopefully never replicate is common sense. And I think, as you were just talking is that, with all of these things, we don't throw everything out, right? It's about this middle way in Uncomplicated I talk about the middle way, which is about, not being all the way over here and not being over here in these polarized places, which our culture is so polarized in everything now. When God has created us, really, it's about balance. It's about having discernment, using the tools and technology that's available to us, but then also not letting go of the things that we have to keep in our lives in order to keep our thoughts, our lifestyle, everything balanced. Because once we move a degree more and more to another extreme, then especially our children, who we're raising or those people we're influencing or we're mentoring or teaching, that's going to be what they know. So it's kind of always keeping the best of what is healthy and safe in this domain and balancing it with the risks, and the unhealthy components in the other domain.

Lauren

Right. Yeah, definitely. So now, how can people today gain some of this folk knowledge and some of this, you know, experiential knowledge without being in the same settings and environment as the people in the past?

Like, we actually have it so good compared to those in the Great Depression that you talk about some of their stories in your book or the Holocaust. So, in what ways could we now start gaining and practicing this knowledge?

Brenda

Yeah, I think, doing some of the tips that I've mentioned already, but then also in Uncomplicated, I think it's, really more of a value and a priority refinement, like know what you're doing and why you're doing it, is part of that foresight and that prudence of saying, if this, then that.

If I do this, then this is going to be the result that's going to happen naturally, or it's going to be either the, the outcome I don't want to have, or it's going to be that outcome I do want to have. And if it's not that, then I'll learn from that. Really values clarification. I chose 10 virtues, mindsets and behaviors that really were, as I researched, the ones that aren't as prevalent before us all the time, right?

Like it's easy for people to say, Oh, I want to simplify my life so I'm going to downsize to only have one set of dishes and I'm going to only do this and only do that. And that's really not sustainable for everybody. And I think that's part of why this book is something I'm very passionate about is because people come to our community wanting to see the Amish lifestyle. They want to learn about it. And they're like, Oh, if only I could live that way. And this is really saying, guess what? You can, no matter where you live. It's really about saying, how do I problem solve and what are my values and how do my values not only define today, but it also defines my tomorrow. So, just a simple example, our kids were raised on a farm, but, you don't have to raise your kids on the farm to have these values. One of our values when we are raising our kids is that I wanted them to be leaders. I wanted them to be leaders in whatever vocation they chose to do when they were adults. And to be Christian leaders. So that meant that we had that as part of our dialogue. And so when we had them do a simple chore around the house, or, I left them with a task to do themselves, I didn't just give them every detail they were supposed to do. I kind of gave them the outline by the time I come home in an hour these are the things that need to be done. And I'll see ya. And I left. And they had to figure out amongst themselves how it was going to be done, and they had to learn give and take, they had to learn how to lead and how to follow, and how to negotiate. Some of these practical skills that, we don't learn when we are embedded in our devices. So, I would just really encourage anyone that the more we practice, the more we model these things, for ourselves, even and for our kids, if we're raising kids, but even for those around us. The people who lived without technology and lived, you know, 100 years ago, their problems weren't any different than ours. I mean, they were different, but really, at the bare bones, they weren't. What we can learn from them, though, was what we go back to.

And I think that's the other thing, too, is think about the people in your life who you admire the most, who you look up to the most, who when things get really hard, they're the people you want to call, whether they're living or not. And then think about, what about their life do I value and emulate?

And I have those questions in the back of each chapter. And the reason I did that was because the woman who probably influenced my life the most was my mother in law. She died when I was a young mom in my 30s. And, I go back to her modeling so many times in my life when I think I really miss her and why? Okay, it's because when she was in a situation like this I would have seen her do XYZ. And I think those are the things that we need to maybe keep in the forefront of our mind rather than going to the plethora of information and opinions that just bombard us. Our brain is really only meant to handle so much information and our eyes see a lot of information.

So another practical piece is just keeping things away from our eyes that we don't need to be bombarded with. And the same way with our ears. Listen to the right voices, find the few podcasts that you really respect and you really want to fill your mind and just listen to those. Don't listen to everyone that you really like, or rotate them. So, there's just a lot of paring down, maybe. Not throw everything out, but pare down, and have it be based on your values. Not my values, not someone else's values.

Lauren

Yeah, I think that's so important. That's part of my decision making process is actually first and foremost, you have to define what your values and your goals and desires are because everybody has different values.

And so you don't want to be making decisions based off of other people's values or other people's expectations of you. Like that's your choice, your decisions. And so you have to know those because otherwise when things arise, when there's a complicated situation or you're finding that there's tension between two things that you thought were both kind of priorities, you have to determine which one is the most important.

Brenda

Yeah. And that can be really hard. I'm really glad you brought that up because I think so much of our time today, we do battle these conflicting priorities because there's always something screaming for our time. And it's even just something as small as setting aside a few times, whether it's a day or a week to be able to really sit with the Lord and have those values for your season in front of you.

Because those are going to change depending on your life stage too, or depending on something big that enters your life that you didn't plan. Something like that has happened to me in the last month and I had to put off a lot of my book promotion because, what was most important was something that only I could do and it was life or death and I had to tend to that.

And so, always just kind of knowing the why of what you're doing.

Lauren

Right, yeah. And I think a lot of what plays into all of this, which you talk about in one of the first chapters of your book, is contentment. So can you speak to how contentment affects these decisions and affects this lifestyle?

Brenda

Yeah, you know, contentment was the first human struggle. We see it in the Garden of Eden. Before anything else happened, It was discontentment that was the first human struggle. And so we're in good company. We shouldn't feel guilty when we struggle with discontentment. But when we are always chasing the one thing or the experience or the validation, the ideal image, the expectation that we think is gonna make us happy or make us feel loved to make us feel content or satisfied then we're always looking for that thing that's out of our reach. We're always looking towards tomorrow. We're always looking at the next thing and not being able to fully be present in our own life, whether it's our own day, whether it is our season of life or our aspirations. And so I think really being able to figure out why am I chasing? Or what am I chasing?

Because it usually comes from a core wound or for a core need. All of our decisions, all of our human behavior is driven by need. And so when our needs are met, emotional needs, physical needs, spiritual needs, then we're satisfied just like a baby or a toddler, right? They cry because they have a need. And, they can't meet that need on their own, so they're letting the adult around them know, I have a need, and when that need is satisfied, well then they're happy and content. And so we're no different, and you know, sometimes that requires us really digging deep, and to say, where is this coming from? And, it might need some, expert help to help you kind of figure that out, or it just might be some discernment time, some journeying time with Jesus. Or just even having good conversations with someone you trust and love who loves you well to say, yeah, I see that in you. And then we're like, Oh no, okay, I didn't realize that was that evident, but, but it is. And I think just being honest with ourselves. But then also giving ourselves grace. I think for myself when I realized that discontentment was driving a lot of my inner dialogue. I share that story in the first chapter. My son just happened to say at one time, "Mom, why do you always want to move?" And he kind of caught me off guard because he kind of called out something that really was my internal dialogue at the time of my life: can't truly be happy here. And so I think when we can be honest with ourselves, and honest with God, then the quest for contentment becomes less of a grasping and more of an accepting.

Lauren

Yeah, yeah, I've been going through some, as you know, the kitchen renovation and we're about to remodel a lot of our house. And as I was reading your book and you've got these chapters on contentment and you have chapters on prudence and just the practicality of things, I started thinking like, why am I going through these house renovations?

Is it just a vanity thing so that I can keep up with the look that, everybody else has updated kitchens and I'm the only one that doesn't. Or is it actually something practical? And I think there's a balance of both when I started evaluating it because A, my son's bedroom is right behind the kitchen and we don't have soft closed drawers and doors. And when my husband has to be up at 4am in order to get ready for work, it wakes my son up every time and then he's cranky and he doesn't get his sleep and he's tired and it throws off the evenings because then he's not able to make it through dinnertime without being overtired. So that's part of it. Part of it is also I have these nasty tile countertops with grout that I cannot get clean and emotionally, even if I tidy my kitchen and clean it as deep as I can, it still just doesn't give me that peace of feeling that like I'm in a clean environment and that things are tidy and I have everything together.

But as we go through the rest of our kitchen renovation, I have to start thinking like is this out of discontentment? Or are these things that are actually practical? And so that I can be wise in my purchases and our decisions with our spending and not go overboard and go crazy just because it's oh, I want the nicest things, I want the prettiest kitchen and all that.

Brenda

Yeah, and I think I know I talked about that quite a bit in the in the book because we were building our house and we we built it during the turn the of the millennium when everything was big right? All the houses were big they had all these grand spaces and I really just wanted an old farmhouse. And so we built this big kind of modest, modern farmhouse before the farmhouse style was popular. And people couldn't quite see in my head what I wanted. So even some things that I thought were practical that other people didn't think were practical, now were the things that are in all the kitchen redoes and all the kitchen farmhouse things now.

But now that our kids are gone, I'm glad that, my husband was a more practical voice with some things because, really now our kids are gone and the house is big and we aren't planning on moving anywhere else. And so now I'm kind of grateful that there was a balance. Everything comes down to balance.

Lauren

Yeah. And I, I do like how you mention that you can change things. So you had made a practical decision to have a smaller backyard so you could have more farmland for your animals. And then later down the line, when you realized that you get so much peace from sitting by some water and just having that space to reflect and meet with Jesus and relax. And so then you made a change to the fence, moved some of it over so you could have that creek side just. space to relax in. And so some of our decisions, they don't have to be permanent decisions and you can do what's practical right now. And then if it needs to change, you can change that down the line.

Brenda

Yes, always.

And I'm so glad you highlighted that because that really is important. And I think a lot of times we feel trapped, and that again, causes a lot of anxiety. We feel trapped with these big decisions that seem like everything hinges on this one thing we're going to decide now. When really, other than the most important relationships in our life, there are a few decisions that can't be changed down the road without there being, really big consequences from it.

Everything again, it's that, it's that middle way, it's that middle thinking. And I love that you just highlighted that.

Lauren

Yeah. So anything else that you want to mention on how these principles can apply to decision making?

Brenda

I think that, one thing that I mentioned, but I maybe didn't go into real deeply is just looking at obstacles in front of us.

I think this is the thing I do most practically with those I work with, even with young kids is, understanding that we can only control the things that are in our arena to a control. And sometimes we look at an obstacle and we think there's no way around this problem. And I have no control in this problem.

And there are some problems where we don't have as much control because it may be the consequences from another person's actions in our life or decision that they make. But we can always be in control of our own thinking, of our own responses, and even our own decisions based on someone else's decisions.

Or based on really what we really want out of the situation. And so I think just going back to this idea of, here's the problem. What can I control and what can't I control? And then focusing on what we can control. And I think when we do that problems become much smaller and it becomes much more attainable to see the obstacle as what the true obstacle is, and then to be able to make a game plan for how we're going to overcome it.

Lauren

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. That's so important. And all of these things that you've mentioned today are things that I think are getting lost in the technology generation. And so if people could just go back to these, these roots, these ways of old and journaling and just reflecting in the peace and quiet. I think part of it, we just need more margin. We need more space. We need more rest. And that way we're able to shut out those distractions and problem solve and conquer the thing in front of us and not be anxious about it and not be worried and just be able to handle one thing at a time.

Brenda

Yeah, for sure.

Lauren

All right. So Brenda, thank you so, so much for sharing with us today.

Brenda

And I would love for you to tell our audience where they can find you and find your books and all of that.

Sure. They can find me at my website, BrendaYoder.Com. I'm on Instagram @brendayoderspeaks. I'm on Facebook at Brenda Yoder Speaker. They can find all of my books on Amazon. They can find, Fledge and Uncomplicated at really any bookseller: Barnes and Noble, Christian books, all of those things. And I would love to connect with people. You can also find me at the podcast mentioned Midlife Moms podcast and Life Beyond the Picket Fence podcast.

Lauren

Yes. And all of those will be in the show notes as well. So make sure to check out the show notes to get the direct links.

And now we will end how all of my interviews end with some rapid fire decision questions. So just answer which one you would choose to pick your quick decision.

  • So autumn or spring? Autumn.

  • Starry night or sunny day? Sunny day.

  • Thai food or Italian food? Italian.

  • Casual or formal? Casual.

  • Picnic or restaurant? Picnic.

  • And mountains or canyons? Oh, mountains.

Alright, well thank you so much. It was so great talking with you.

Brenda

Thanks so much for having me.

Lauren

Have a good one. Bye.

 Outro: Thanks for listening all the way to the end. If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of it and post it to social media, making sure to tag me at anchored decisions, or share it with a friend. This helps me know which type of content to create more of, and gives me the opportunity to connect with you as a listener outside of your earbuds.

Decision Making, Living with Purpose, Personal DecisionsLauren BlackGuest Interview, Intentional Living, Brenda Yoder, Problem Solving, Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling LifeComment