006: Navigating Friendships as a Christian: Insights from Life Coach, Steph Kelsey
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Show Notes
On this episode of the Anchored Decisions podcast I'm talking with Steph Kelsey, who is a relationship- focused life coach, and we're chat all about friendships. What type of friendships should you pursue? How you can find good quality friends, how to be a good friend and what you can do in those sticky friendships situations.
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Website: www.stephkelsey.com
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About Stephanie:
Stephanie Kelsey is a Life Coach with an emphasis on healthy relational dynamics. She has worked as a Women’s Pastor, and Groups Pastor. Leading hundreds of volunteers and a staff team of 11. Her experience in biblical counseling, coaching, speaking, and leading in small to mega sized churches has lead her to this joy of Life Coaching. Stephanie can help you to no longer feel stuck, set good boundaries, lead your teams with relational strength, and walk in health with family, marriage, and friend relationships.
Links Mentioned:
Proverbs 18:24
From outro: Decision Compass
Transcript
Lauren:
Welcome back everybody to the Anchored Decisions Podcast. I am very excited for our guest today, Stephanie Kelsey. She is going to be sharing on all things friendships. So how to decide what friend relationships to pursue. This is a topic near and dear to my heart, as we'll get into. So before we get started, let me share a little bit about Stephanie.
Stephanie, she is a life coach with an emphasis on healthy relational dynamics. She has worked as a woman's pastor and groups pastor leading hundreds of volunteers and a staff team of 11. Her experience in biblical counseling, coaching, speaking, and leading in small to mega sized churches has led her to this joy of life coaching. Stephanie can help you no longer feel stuck, set good boundaries, lead your teams with relational strength, and walk in healthy family, marriage, and friend relationships. So welcome Stephanie.
Steph:
Thank you so much. I am super honored to be here and I love all subjects around relationships. So your topic is one of my favorites.
Lauren:
Yes. Well, I have really great friendships now. I have an awesome friend group through my church. They're involved in my Mothers of PreSchoolers group and our life group through church, so we're just connected on multiple levels. But I have had problems with friendships in the past growing up.
I feel like the devil just knew that that was a sore spot for me and would poke me with that. I had friendships that would just end out of nowhere. I had a roommate that stopped talking to me out of nowhere and I could not think of anything I had done that could have ticked her off to make her stop talking to me.
And I know that a lot of women, especially once you're an adult, you move to a new place or you start having kids — you have these life changes — it can be hard to establish deep friendships. And then as Christians, we have a whole second layer of dynamics of wanting Christian friends to pour into us and to to uplift each other as well as then having people that we can share Christ with and those friendships.
So before we dive in to too much more, tell me a little bit of how you got into life coaching and more specifically helping with relationships.
Steph:
Yeah, I really, I think showing up messy is part of the journey in because even some of the things you've shared, like I know so many people that are listening are going to relate because I relate and just a few things that you said already, like a friend ghosting you or disappearing, and you're like, "What happened, what did I do, can we have a conversation?" And I think, I'm one of those really bold people that will come and ask or try to pursue. Relationships have always been a passion for me.
As far as getting into life coaching, I think I've kind of always done that in my life. I, that person that a lot of people will come to, they'll ask for advice, they'll ask me to pray, they feel like they can confide in me because I'm trustworthy. I'm known for like four hour lunches, two hour lunches with friends and just connecting heart to heart and asking good questions. And so much of coaching is asking good questions. Really getting to the heart of people and finding out and my tagline is "life is messy but you don't have to be" and I just think no matter how perfect we might try to walk our lives, it's still messy. We make mistakes because we're human. The people that we're around make mistakes because they're human and life just gets messy. Our emotions get entangled. We get heightened in the way that we are responding. And so, that's just been a passion of mine, like, how do we show up okay? How do we show up not messy? And I've just kind of leaned into that over and over again. Okay, Lord, why did I respond like that? What's going on? That's not my normal self. Like what happened there? And God's just been teaching me on the, on a long life. And then I have also been that's what I'm attracted to reading books about that and movies about that, and everything around me, that's my passion. That's what I love to do.
So life is messy, but we don't have to be, if we can press into some of these areas and learn some new tools.
Lauren:
Right, definitely. And I think it does take a little bit of being vulnerable with our friends, showing them our messy side to have a good dynamic. I know if we always clean our house to the fullest, before people come over, we set an expectation that they need to clean their house fully before coming over.
And same with even in that friendship. If you forget a play date or forget a lunch meeting or running late, it's okay to ask for that forgiveness and to build that relationship on being an imperfect human being.
Steph:
Yes, absolutely. I've said this so many times that I don't feel like I'm truly good friends with somebody until we've had an argument or a misunderstanding or a mishap of some sort because otherwise you're pretending.
If you have not had any kind of stress in your relationship at all with that person, I don't yet consider them a good friend because I don't know... are they going to reject me? Are they going to forgive me? Are they going to be okay? Am I going to reject them or forgive them? Like there's a comfort knowing you can be that messy part of you and still be loved. Right? And that's when we can go deeper with people.
Lauren:
So how do you advise that people develop and find these good strong friendships?
Steph:
Well, you even mentioned some of those already. Just being in places where there can be some like minded people. Which, that's not only what you want, but that is one comfort zone, you know, when you're around like minded people, and that's just the places you go: where you shop, or where you work, or where your family does activities, you know, all of those things.
I would say though, as far as really getting those kinds of friends, a good deep friendship, number one is to work on you. That's even how we were already talking, like, life is messy, but you don't have to be. Where are you showing up messy? Where do you show up in places that you don't, is it around conflict? Then work on how to have healthy conflict. Are you showing up and you can only be fun and light and funny, but you won't ever talk deep with people? Maybe you need to figure out, like, why won't you go deep? Maybe you're a person that shows up and you go too deep too fast and it freaks the people out that like are trying to get to know you a little bit first. So there's all of these different places.
You work on you is the number one. Are you a healthy person? Are you fun to be around? Will you go deep? Will you vulnerably? You know, those are things for you to really look at.
Then I would say just like as you're building relationships, you want to build relationships where you feel seen and heard and loved and understood. That's the heart cry of every single human being. If you can start finding people that will reciprocate that type of relationship, man, they're keepers.
Lauren:
Yes. Yes. For sure.
Steph:
Yes. And then also I would just say, we need to work on getting a thick skin. Not being afraid of rejection. A lot of people hold back from going deep with others because of rejection or pain from the past.
And I tell everybody that I get the opportunity to be in front of, be the hardest person to offend that, you know. Be curious instead of getting offended. Like, "Oh, you said this and it hit me a little bit funny. What did you mean by that?" It might be your own security showing up and nothing they meant at all. So when you ask the curious questions, you get to know what their heart was, but you're also, in a way, if they did say something that was hurtful, you're kind of calling that out and saying, "This is the friend I am. I'm going to call something out when I hear it and it lands funny. But it's not for the sake of I'm calling you out to be harsh on you. It's saying, I want clear pathways of communication happening here. And this is the best way that I know how." So, being the hardest person to offend, you know, goes back to being curious.
And then God, obviously, in Proverbs 18:24: a man that has friends must show himself friendly and there's a friend that sticks closer to a brother.
So one of the things I think a lot of people do is they sit back and wait for other people to approach them because that feels safer to them. But being the friend that you wish others were to you is such a great way to think about "how do I develop a friendship?" Like I'm going to my son's soccer game and there's a lady that has come every time and she's sitting over there by herself. What if I went over and sat by her and just said, "Hey, I wanted to meet you." And you were the friendly person that if you were sitting by yourself and didn't know anybody that you would like to have.
Lauren:
I think a few things you said here struck me and overall it's communication.
Communication is key because it's either you communicating to someone to clarify, as you said, they might've said something that was offensive and maybe they didn't mean it that way. Or maybe you have a friend that you reached out to and they never wrote you back and you take it the wrong way and question, "why aren't they messaging me back? Is it something I said?" And it could just be that they opened your text, got distracted by a green light or by their kids or by a work email that popped up and just forgot. We're all human.
Steph:
I've done that.
Lauren:
And then, yeah, also to be the one to take action and to be proactive in those relationships and pursue it.
Steph:
Yeah. Even looking around, where are you already? Instead of like, I have to go find these friends somewhere, like in your neighborhood, your child's sports team, a park that you go to on a regular basis, your church, your hobbies, PTA. Like there's so many places that you are already involved in and if you can look around those places "God highlight to me anybody that you would like me to connect with." He knows your heart and he knows the other person's heart. He knows your needs.
When I was in my early 20s — I have two grown daughters, I have four grandchildren — and, when I was a young mom myself, I didn't have a car. We lived in South Africa. Like there's tall fences around our yards with barbed wire on the top of them. It wasn't a place to just go walking with the stroller somewhere. And so, I decided to have a Bible study in my house because I didn't have a car and people needed to come to me. And so this was like a lifeline to me in the middle of the week to have. There were only about three women that came, but it was such an awesome way to be able to have connection, share our hearts, pray for each other and have some community that I desperately needed. And so I was the answer to my own problem instead of sitting there upset that I don't have friends or that I don't have a car that I can't get out of the house with.
And I really think one of the things also in my coaching is, I try to stretch our brains, stretch the clients I work with, stretch their brain to think of things they wouldn't normally think about. So really think outside of the box, look around your surroundings, ask the Holy Spirit for help. Like show me who I need to speak to what, where I can connect with somebody. And then try not to have strings attached to those interactions. Like maybe lower your expectations a little. If you're anything like me, I'll meet someone and I click so well with them, I'm like, "Oh my gosh, maybe I have a best friend. I'm so excited." And. It might not work out that way, even if you do get along well. Your lives have to align in so many ways for that BFF status to really take hold. But what about having friends in lots of different areas to meet your needs instead of having to have one friend that meets every single need?
Lauren:
Right. Yeah. One thing that someone shared with me at one point was there are friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for life. And I think sometimes those friends for life are really, really hard to come by, but you could have a friend that's a really long season. I had some friendships from elementary school that I thought we would be friends for life. And after college, they've moved away and they changed quite a bit. We don't share the same values and perspectives anymore. And so what I thought was a friend for life, we might still communicate for life, but we're not going to be that bestie status for life. And it was just a really long season and that's okay.
And then friends for a reason, sometimes it might be just that you're neighbors. Maybe you're living somewhere temporarily for a few years, knowing you're going to be moving. It'd be hard to make a friend for life if you're constantly moving around, but you can have those friends in that season or for a specific reason.
Steph:
Yeah, that's so true. And I think because we are a culture that moves so much, you know, friendships used to be so much around who you grew up around and what your family system looked like. And your family had a lot of family living close to each other and we just don't have that anymore. It's not the same.
So yeah, you really do you have to look at friendship in a different way than what it used to be and sometimes that means having a friend you cry when you laugh and having a different friend that likes to talk really deep and it's okay. It's okay that different friends meet different needs.
Lauren:
Yeah, and then I think sometimes as you mentioned that a lot of people who are moving around a lot It is nice to stay connected with people with nowadays social media and Facetime, that you can then go visit those friends and have a place to stay for free when you have people in different areas.
Steph:
Yeah, absolutely. That's definitely the truth for us and I love it.
Lauren:
So how would you say we as Christians should our friendships look different than the world's?
Steph:
Yeah, I think as a Christian and the way that God's word speaks to us, I think that we are definitely called to such a different standard.
Even, being honest, when it's hard. We can have the ability to have God- centered conversations, which is so huge. If you think of a, a friendship that doesn't have God in the middle of it, and you do have a friend who's really struggling or battling and you can just even ask questions like, "have you asked God what he thinks about this?" or "have you gone back and talked to the person that you're struggling with?" Like these are loving ways that we can be a friend that's directing them towards healthy relationships with others and not just ourselves. And what a blessing it is to have that as a common interest amongst friends. You can talk through issues with the person instead of, everyone else but them.
God talks about gossip and what that does and you see what a painful thing that is. I'm sure we've all felt it at different times in our life, and it just really is a knife to the heart. It's so hard when you have been talked about badly behind your back and you find out about it later. Even just being a place and I would say not all Christians are great at this, and I probably have gone through different seasons in my life where I'm better at it or I wasn't, and that's to just create a safe place without judgment. We are not called to be cruel and unkind or to beat people over the head with the Bible. Like nobody enjoys that! So if you didn't know that take that down but But to be able to hold a safe place and like I said, there are gentle ways, there are loving ways to say "Hey, have you asked God what he thinks about this or have you talked to the other person about this?"
And I don't think that it's gossip when you talk to another person with the intent of processing your thoughts and your emotions and then being willing to listen to them giving you some feedback to kind of point you in a higher way than just your own emotions and thoughts.
Where I consider it gossip is if somebody would come to me and talk to me and they don't want to hear what I have to say. They don't want any input in it. They just want to vent and be mad about whatever happened. Or they just want you to agree how horrible the other person is. And , that is not God's way. That is not what we are called to do. And that's where I do draw the line and say, that's gossip.
But if somebody comes to me and they know I'm a trusted person and they're sharing with me because they want to process and get a better understanding, that's such a good friend to be able to say, "I'm hearing you say this; this is what you're really upset about."
It can bring clarity to them for them to go back then and then talk to that person. That the hardship was around.
If you compare that to the world's perspective on friendship, what I suggest, just watch one of the housewives reality shows, and you'll learn what the world thinks about friendship. And it's just, it's so sad to me because they truly at times think they're in such good friendships. But the gossip and the backbiting and using one another for gain or popularity or to be invited to the big fancy parties or pitting one friend against another. I feel like we sneaky do that. I try to be so, so careful like with social media today.
You decide I'm gonna have a Christmas party and then you're posting all these fun pictures knowing you didn't invite certain people. Can you just take pictures and have fun and not necessarily have to post to the whole world about it? Where can you be considerate and kind and thinking about other people and not just about "Oh this is so fun" and everyone in the world that is on my social media platforms or is going to see how amazing my life is, instead of caring for the heart of other people. And so, so many little things there that you can really implement and be courteous and careful and loving to the people around you.
Lauren:
Yeah, definitely.
I see your heart in this and it is about just having that love and cherishing what God cherishes and loving on people around you. Being considerate, being uplifting, being a safe space for others to come to as well, and knowing that if they are confiding in you with those hard conversations that you're not going to then go share them with others, that you're keeping it confidential.
Steph:
And even the accountability. I kind of take an ownership to when somebody has taken the time to come and talk with me, then I may say to them like, " keep processing, but you need to talk to the person." And then the next time I see them, I will say, "Hey, how did that conversation go?"
Oh, well, a lot of times what happens, he'll say, "Oh, well, I haven't had it yet." Cause it's uncomfortable. And I'll remind them like, hey, this is for your growth and theirs. You need to have that conversation. And so, that accountability and I might even ask, are you not wanting me to ask you about this again? Cause it's not my job to make sure that they do something, but I do want to steward well what people are bringing to me. And so I can drop it and let it go. But I guarantee you, if that friend comes back to me again with another issue with that same person, I'm going to be reminding them like, "Hey, last time we talked about this and you didn't want to go through with it, but I'm seeing a pattern now. If you don't talk about it, you're going to keep coming back in the same situation." And there has even been times I've asked somebody, please don't tell me anymore. You've brought this too many times and you're not doing the things that I think are wise and that I'm suggesting. I don't have anything new to say.
And that sounds harsh, but gosh, it just helps them know I'm not the place to come and gossip. I'm here for help. I'm here to love you. I'm here to have empathy for you and what you're going through, but to point you back to what's really going to be the most helpful, but I'm not here just to keep hearing you without you doing anything about it.
Lauren:
Yeah. So this kind of leads me into one of my other questions I had for you on what do you suggest we do when we have an unhealthy relationship in our life? Either someone that just doesn't see eye to eye with us, or I know of somebody who her neighbor was constantly stopping by and just popping in and she would text, "Oh, I see your home, your car's in the driveway. Like, why aren't you answering me?" And just kind of overbearing or maybe somebody who is a really gossipy or maybe it's, you know, as someone who I have young kids, sometimes I'll meet someone who I connect with, but maybe their kids aren't a very good influence on my kids. So how do we handle those unhealthy relationships with grace?
Steph:
Yeah. It's so hard because these are where those hard conversations that you need to have in life and you need to practice having them so you can get better because most people don't like them. I would, most people don't like them. I am a little bit weird in that I like that not because I like conflict or like having hard conversations, but I like getting clarity. I like there not being awkward weirdness going on. So when things feel weird and awkward, if you have a stalker neighbor, that would be so hard. Like "I see you're home, why are you answering me?" That needs to be addressed! That really needs to be addressed because they're going to keep doing it and you're going to just feel weird even coming home.
So, I would first say, just be really thoughtful and clear headed as to what the goal of the conversation is. If you are clear headed about it and you really think through before you have the conversation, that is the best possible preparedness that you can have going into it.
So really think through like, why is this bothering me? What is it that I'm wanting to communicate? You might want to communicate, stop stalking me. I don't like it. Okay. How do you say that in a way that is loving and still direct? Like, how do you do that? And then you think through that, you think through the different ways that you can approach that kind of a thing.
And it can look like things like, "I love that we're neighbors and I love that we get to hang out sometimes, but I want you to know I feel watched by you and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable. If you reach out to me, can you give me agency of myself and my own time and respect that I'll get back to you either when I feel like it or when I have the time? Like, there's a lot of different things going on in my life and whether I'm taking a nap or I'm playing with my kids, or I just don't feel like answering right now, I need that to be okay with you." So when you think through how you're going to approach it, you can find ways to say, stop stalking me, but in a way that doesn't sound super harsh or that you're being unkind, but just that you're trying to set healthy boundaries.
Lauren:
I think sometimes we need to be okay with the fact that the other person might not take it well. And if it's a relationship that's not serving you anyway, it's sometimes it's okay to let that go.
Steph:
Yes, even if the other person responds poorly, that's just where she is in her life. You can't make her understand it. You can't make her understand where the overbearing part is coming in and how that's hurting her in her friendships. She's probably deals with a lot of rejection because people aren't going to like that.
Or she's going to end up being friends with somebody that doesn't have a backbone to stand up to her and allows her to kind of walk all over them. And that's not good for her either, or the other person that she's in the friendship with, and that will probably, kind of implode on her at some point as well.
So she's probably a very hurting person. And hasn't yet learned how to take feedback from other people and to sit in it and to listen and to learn so she can grow as a person, which went back to our point number one of, how to make these kind of friendships — it's growing and working on yourself.
I would say too, one of my points on this question is look for patterns of behavior and not one off behaviors. Sometimes a friend can do something and it's a one- off behavior. That is like, I did not enjoy that. That was not cool. But you don't see that as a pattern in their life. And when you go to talk to somebody, you can talk to them about the one off thing if there's a hurt or you're having a hard time getting over that. But, for sure, if you're seeing a pattern of behavior that really makes it hard for you to connect or be friends with that person, it's clarity for you to know this might not be your person. And or clarity to have a conversation if you felt led to do that.
You don't have to have a conversation with every single person. You can pick and choose. Okay, where is my time well invested in having this conversation? And where is it just unhealthy and this isn't my job to fix anybody, so I'm going to step away from this. And sometimes you can do that just really naturally. Like you just stop calling or talking as much or that kind of thing. Sometimes you have to have the conversation because the person won't let you do that. And so you have to jump in there and say like, "I need you to step back."
And I would say that another thing to think about is focus on how you're feeling and how you can process your own growth and your own feelings and not demonizing the other person. And this is something that can be really hard to do because when you demonize the other person, you can just make it all about how horrible they are and you don't pay attention to your own growth and that's not healthy for you.
And the truth is God loves that person. And it doesn't matter how horrible that they're behaving, God sees them as precious. And he loves them. And that can be hard for us to accept. We're like, "God, get our enemies, go after them." But really, if we choose to not demonize and "Lord bless them, they are where they're at. I'm not the person to walk with them through this, bless them, teach them, show them your love."
And what can I learn from this? That's the best position that you can possibly put yourself in.
Lauren:
Yeah. Now, I think one of my biggest things of holding onto friendships that maybe aren’t healthy is when I'm trying to share Christ with someone who might not have a relationship with him. And I feel like their soul, their relationship with God, their stance in heaven is dependent on me and my friendship, even if the friendship itself is not a good connection, is not serving us. So I, I hold onto it. How do we balance being a light to the non Christians without being in a position where it either pulls us away from God or in an unhealthy relationship that we just feel is not going anywhere?
Steph:
Yeah, that's so good because we do need to not live in our bubble only. There's a whole world out there that needs our light and needs salt and needs to experience God's love, not just be told that God loves them. And that's where we are the hands and feet of Christ. And that's our whole mission of being on this earth is to love God and love people.
Not just Christian people, people. So I would say, this is such a unique thing because you really need to be asking the Holy Spirit to help guide you and to help you be aware of the people that are around you.
I remember a friend that our kids were little and in the same classroom. And when I saw her, I heard the Lord say to me, " I want you to love her unconditionally." Well, in hindsight, you know, that's going to be a little harder because I'm like, "sure, you know, I love that." And, it was hard because there were a lot of pains and hurts in her life and ways that she would try to sabotage without knowing she's sabotaging her friendships and relationships. And it meant holding a lot of space for messiness. And I think, I hope I did that assignment well. There was a lot that we went through and I continue to hold that word that God gave me. When you're called to love somebody unconditionally, so specifically, like the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear that day, there's usually a really good reason God says that.
I think of Hosea, when he's asked to marry a prostitute, like this is a hard path. This is a hard path. And God's saying, I have something that I'm doing on this earth through this relationship and I need you to trust me.
And so what I would say is if that relationship had happened without the Lord whispering in my ear, I would not have stayed in the drama, what felt to me like the drama of that relationship as long as I did. But I'm really proud of staying in there and loving her and still having a relationship that's sweet and loving.
And so each situation is different, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.
I want you to hear from the Lord on that, but I also want to say, there are so many opportunities for you to shine your light. My girls played on high level traveling volleyball teams as they were probably from junior high through high school. And the drama is unbelievable. Like even just sitting on the bench watching your children play, there's all these nuances amongst the parents that are going on.
And again, I'm a relationship person, so I might notice more things than the average person, but watching the girls on the bench, how they treat each other, whether they high five each other, whether they congratulate and are excited or they're mopey because they're not in there playing, like you see all of these different dynamics crashing in, in one area. And the parents, my daughter might make a mistake on the court and I might hear a certain dad or a mom like, you know, like just even grunt because they're so upset that this game our kids are playing. And my my child's not perfect and made a mistake or whatever like... you see, and you feel, and you experience all of these things that are just pressing on you and wanting you to become a mama bear and just like lash out.
And I have teasingly said, the hardest place to remain a Christian is in watching your kids in sports with other parents, but what an opportunity. Through the years I watched. people respect me because of how I didn't talk against their children, even when they made mistakes where I could be loving to the dad that just huffed and puffed because my daughter made a mistake. Even looking and giving a knowing glance at that dad without saying anything or being mean towards him, let him know, "I heard you. That's hurtful." And then just focus back on the game. There are ways that you can be gentle, but your presence can be powerful.
So no matter what environment you're in, if you are in a bubble and you're only in Christian sports and you're only homeschooling and you're only in a Christian school and you're only with Christian friends, I want to challenge you.
The world needs you to come out of hiding. There's got to be things that you can do — put your kid in a sport that's not Christians only. They need it too. They need to learn how to be present in this world, but not of the world. And so I had moms coming to me, "my marriage is in trouble. I think we're gonna get a divorce. Will you pray for me?" She wouldn't go to any other person, any other parent on that team, but me, because she's watched how I have conducted myself.
One of my favorite stories, is my daughter had a volleyball tournament on Easter weekend out of state. And I just remembered so many parents complaining and being upset and even other friends that weren't a part of the team but had heard I had this tournament that I was going to with my daughter on Easter weekend and it just felt to most people like it was sacrilege that we were playing this tournament on Easter weekend and I could see that perspective.
But instead I just felt like, "Oh my goodness, what an amazing opportunity. I'm going to ask the coach if I can do an Easter service and I'm going to share the resurrection of my life, which is just my testimony, how God resurrected my life from where it was and where it was going and so much of that testimony started in my high school years, and these girls are in high school." And so I asked the coach if that would be okay because I didn't want to overstep bounds or anything. But I did know that he was a believer, and he said yes.
And so I sent a message out to the parents and the team and said, "No pressure if you don't want to come, but I am going to do an Easter service at this time." So I picked, you know, we had the morning open or whatever. And almost every single parent and kid came. And I got to share the testimony of how God turned my life around and how I was sleeping with my boyfriend and I was struggling to make a decision to break it off.
And I had at least three girls come up to me afterwards and share the same type of thing that they were sleeping with their boyfriends. And so with my vulnerability and my willingness to not be in my church box on Easter weekend, and rather be Easter outside of the church.
You know, I don't know what God did with that. It was just seeds I was willing to do and I was willing to plant, but it was just sharing my story. That's it. And I went without being angry that the club had decided to book this tournament on Easter weekend, but see it as an opportunity.
These people may never have come to a normal message of mine because they have their own churches or, so many people say they're Christians, but they don't understand a personal relationship with Jesus is where it's at, that's the life. That's the life, the bread, that's what we want so desperately, that's what our hearts are crying for. And so being able to share that, it was so cool.
So yes, I do want to encourage, get out of your bubble. Find ways to turn something around that you might think, "Oh my gosh, this is so horrible. Lord, what can we do together with this situation, that's going to be amazing instead of horrible."
Lauren:
I love that so much. You spoke so much wisdom and that's so true I probably would have been one of the ones grouching about having a tournament over Easter, but I love that you used that as an opportunity for his Kingdom and to bring Easter to others.
So with that, we will close out.
I do have a few rapid fire questions that I end with for all of my guests. So just answer with whatever quick decision comes to your head.
So movies or books? Movies.
Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
Dogs or cats? Oh, kind of neither. I'm not a big pet person, but dogs.
Mountains or beach? Beach.
Airplanes or cruises? Airplanes.
All right, and I think that's it.
So tell everyone where they can find you online. And I know you had a free coaching call.
Steph:
Yeah, you can find me, I'm a part of a coaching team at consumedcoaching.com and I've sent to Lauren and she'll put it in the notes that there's a link to mine specifically if you don't want to go through the website and find me on there.
But I offer a free call to every single person, a free coaching call. It's fun to hear people's story and if you want to see if we're a good fit and how I coach and what value I can bring. I use that first call to bring whatever value I can and then for you to see how a coaching relationship works.
But I'm giving away on some social media stuff that Lauren will be putting out there and we'll do together, five coaching calls, double coaching calls. So two coaching calls for free. So any of you can have one free coaching call, but five of you will get two coaching calls, which is a value of $450.
Lauren:
So generous of you! Thank you so much.
To enter the giveaway all you have to do is follow both of our accounts; find the post about this episode, which is episode 6, like it and share it publicly to your stories. Go follow both of us on social media so that you can see the giveaway and be entered to win one of those five amazing coaching spots with Stephanie. You can find Stephanie on Instagram @coachstephkelsey, and my account is @anchoreddecisions.
Thank you so much for listening. If you're looking to make better decisions for you, founded on faith and your priorities, go grab my free decision compass. This will help you set the lens from which you make your decision to be sure you're making the best, most intentional decisions. Download it now at anchoreddecisions.com/compass. See you next week for another episode of the Anchored Decisions show.